Okay, I'm writing this because I need to calm down. It's four thirty in the morning. I woke up around three thirty because it sounded like my two year old black cat, Parker, was playing with somthing on the floor and it was annoying me. I turned on the light and she was gasping for air, shaking, and she was trying to walk towards me but none of her legs were working. They just kept falling out from under her. She was frothing at the mouth, and her eyes were huge. I panicked and ran upstairs to get my mom, and Park tried to follow me up the stairs, but her legs kept not working and she fell down the fucking stairs.

      I was fucking screaming for my mom to get up. And both my parents did and she wrapped Parker in a towel, and Parker stopped breathing and then she started again, and she just fucking layed there and didn't move. We called the emergency vet line and they took fucking five minutes to call us back. Nobody seemed to want to move their fucking asses. We got the hospital and had to wait another five minutes because the vet wasn't there yet. When she did get there, she wanted our names and a fucking deposit before she did anything. Parker seems to be allergic to a flee medicine that my mom rubbed on the back of her neck. Either that or my mom gave her the dog one, which is also possible. The vet is going to give her a bath to get it off of her, and put some sort of IV in her to flush out her system. She said that it can be fatal, and that Parker might not be alive tomorrow or right now. FUCK.

      Parker is one of my two cats that I got when my cat since I was five, Misty, died in 2004. Parker has the most personality I have ever seen in a cat. She meows all the time, to tell you what she's doing, and when it's bedtime, she meows to find out where I am, and then she crawls under the blankets with me and puts her paws over my arm and goes to sleep, just like a little dog. She's affectionate and always sweet. I don't want to think about not having her.

      I was freaking out so badly, that I brought on one of the stressed out SVT episodes, and my heart was going so nuts, that it was probably missing a beat every three or four beats, which means that I was gasping for air, and it looked like I was having a fucking seizure. I'm so exhausted from it now, I can barely feel the left side of my body. It feels like I was hit by a truck. I feel a lot better now. My breathing is still shaky but the tremors have gone. That was the first time my parents have ever seen one of those episodes, and my dad was fucking freaking out asking if I needed to go to the hospital and my mom was pretty much standing there in horror. I tried to explain to them that it didn't hurt, it just felt like I was going to die because my heart wasn't beating. Doesn't hurt though. Also doesn't make a lot of sense to freaked out parents.

      Okay, so that was my night. I really need a drink right now, but it's a bit late and a bit too late to call anybody to talk to. Okay, I seriously do not even want to think about tomorrow. There's not even anyone who stays at the hospital at night. So she could just fucking die after the vet leaves. I can't even deal with this right now. I'm fucking going to bed.
music.