You've only got one life, it's all you've got, so live it well, or you only live once, so do everything. Whichever advice you choose to follow. I don't even know where I'm going with that. Life is life. It's long, but not really in the grand scheme of things I suppose. You are generally unimportant. And that is not a nice thing to think about. So who really cares about your life, except for the people who are living at the same time you are. Maybe that right person isn't even alive right now. Maybe they aren't due for another thousand years. Who knows.

      I can hear my cat running around on the roof. Today I bought the 64 and it doesn't work. That's pretty gay, I got it working for a couple minutes, then it just quit, so I guess it's back into Stock Exchangers tomorrow for another one. Holy shit. I just had the most painful head rush right now. Holy shit, that was painful and quite scary. My head is so hot, I feel like shit. Pretty sure I'm getting sick again. Yay. I've been tired all the time, and eating an insane amount of food, and then feeling sick later. So, dunno what's wrong with me.

      Went into Culture Craze today. Syd was there, she told me I still work there, but whatever, Krystal got fired, thank God, and whatever. This isn't even important, so why am I writing about it. Chris just dropped me off at home so he could paint his room. Ran into Seve at Domino's. He's like seventeen and still in highschool and you know -- smokes pot everyday. So what am I looking for? You tell me, pretty sure I have no idea from one day to the next. My head feels like it's exploding.

      Keith keeps sending me fucking pointless text messages. I don't know why, he's barely spoken to anyone, and certainly not me since he's started whatevering with Katie. So you know, if someone wants to keep up a friendship with me, I don't want it to be through random text messages that say, "Do you like rim jobs." Real classy, Keith. I just called Josh to see what he was up to. He is at Ashley's or Loren's or something getting wasted. As usual I guess. Seriously I pick winners eh. Yeah pretty sure I possibly just having a shitty day. Maybe that's just the thing about being young and dating. Everyone drinks all the damn time, smokes weed like there's no tomorrow. Fuck. I barely ever drink now, I just can't do it. I'm not even going to bother smoking. I like you know -- being sober and cognitive and being in control of myself.

      Seriously, what am I getting out of all this? Yay for the most "important" people in my life being a bunch of... whatever. I guess my parents had it right with the not drinking or drugs and such. Whatever, I got my life experiences, but I suppose I expect too much from people my age. Everyone is shallow, fake, and living with no purpose. Fuck, everything just damn well pisses me off. I hate things with no purpose. Do something productive with your Goddamned lives. In other news, I made a... wow, I don't really feel like writing anymore. Matt Good concert got cancelled. I hate being bunched in with all the pathetic excuses for people out there. Too bad I'll probably never do anything about it.





      Hokay. There's a small amount of catching up to do, eh? This is gonna be all over the place, but that's ok. Chris and I went mini-golfing the other day in Parksville. It was fun. He kicked my ass the first round, but I won by one stroke on the second course so I was pretty pleased. Then we went and had a picnic on the beach. I had lunchables, but Chris decided he had to make his own sandwich, and it was disgusting. Also, some old people were feeding seaguls near us, and there were a lot of them, so I put on my hood because I was afraid I was going to get shat on.

      That very same day, I decided I wanted to go to Science World in Vancouver. We planned to do it a couple of days later, so I stayed over at Chris' house, but I guess I must have been really tired, because I slept through the alarm, so we didn't get to go. However, I think we ended up going the week after that. It was pretty cool. It had changed a lot since I had been there last, when I was like twelve. But still, it was very cool. Chris bought a yoyo. Highlights of Science World were: Chris using this real time camera to zoom in on a children's playground, and watch all the small children. That was pretty disturbing. Chris playing with this plastic woman's body thing, and taking out the baby, with me proclaiming that he was giving her an abortion. There were many children around at the time. We're pretty bad people. Those were probably the best parts... well, Chris also drew a swastica on a computer, and little did we know, what he was drawing was being projected onto the wall... yeah. Oops.

      On the way to Science World, we were on the skytrain, and this old man was like "read the sign." It was so weird. He was totally crazy. Also, when we were at Science World, this fat girl who was walking behind us, tripped and ROLLED by us. It was so funny, we could barely contain our laughter, so we snickered and ran away. Also, I fit inside this little box that was to see how flexible you are, and then some asian children came up and started hitting the box and so I got scared and we left. Hokay. So we left Science World, and we went downtown and ended up at the rockshop, where I spent... "some" money. I bought a NIN patch and a Billy Talent patch. Two belts, and two belt buckles which are stars. They are so awesome. Little did I know, but Chris had also bought me this sweet paramedic belt buckle. He hid it in his shoe, which was probably pretty painful. Anyways, I didn't know that at the time, so I'll get back to it.

      When we got home, we went to Loren's house for a little get together. They were all playing drinking games and trying to get me drunk... but I didn't really feel like drinking that night, and they were being annoyingly persistant, so I just left. Josh asked me later if I could come back and give Chris a ride home. Apparently he was asking for me, so. Yeah, picked up a very drunk Chris from Loren's house, drove him home, and then we sat on the lawn until about four in the morning talking. Chris puked for a little while, and then he cried and told me lots of things, and told me how he got the belt buckle for me and he was going to give it to me when I graduated. It was very sweet and I know he cares about me a lot. He's probably embarressed that I wrote all that. Chris, you're a sweetheart, and my bestfriend. Less than three for life.

      Here's where I go blank... I don't really remember what happened for a while. Probably nothing important. It might have been the next weekend that I realized I had school... that weekend. So anyways, I left for Vancouver once again on Friday evening, and stayed with the Ris family. They know my grandparents, and they were wicked cool. So this was just my free two day refresher course. The first day, I got paired up with this older guy who just liked to make fun of everyone and totally thought he was this shit, as well as this girl who had been in Keith's EMR class. As soon as she realized I knew Keith, she would not fucking stop talking about him. Blah blah blah, he totally wanted to sleep with me, etc. Fricking annoying. Anyways, thank God she wasn't there the next day.

      The second day, I worked with Danny and Cole, and they were pretty wicked. We got along really well right away, and I miss Cole. He was pretty cute, not gonna lie. Hopefully he's not reading this. Anyways... I had starbucks for the first time, it was sooo good. I am addicted, even if it was only hot chocolate. Uhh, we talked to Barrie Morrison, the head of the Paramedic Academy for a while, and that was pretty cool. He answered a lot of our questions. At the end of the day, I spent some time talking with Cole and Gord. Then Cole drove me to the skytrain and that was the last time I saw him. Sad face. However, he said I should come up for some practices, so hopefully I will see him then... maybe he'll have another retro party? Right.

      So back at the Ris' house. They had books about everything. Meanwhile, I had just finished reading the Davinci Code. It was an amazing book, but I'm having trouble seperating fact from fiction, but seriously, if you're looking for a good book to read, start there. The movie comes out May 19th, and I am so stoked. Anyways, so this family had books about the dead sea scrolls, and the Apocryphal gospels, and all that stuff, it was so wicked. So I read a LOT of stuff while I was there. Also, they had timelines in the Bible vs. timelines in world history. It was pretty cool to see how stuff matched up. That's that. Chris came to pick me up on Monday morning, and we went to the JI, and I got a paramedic shirt and a new lanyard finally. Then we went to Ikea, and I spent like two hundred bucks getting stuff for my room. I got shelves, a CD rack, picture frames, and magazine holders. My room is going to rock when it's done. We also went to the Rockshop again. I bought the Matrix poster, but when I opened it, I was sad to see that it was a Tupac poster... not quite my cup of tea. So I gave it to Seve when I got home.

      So yeah, got home, spent some time with Josh. Things there are interesting and that's all I'm going to say about that. Some people keep sticking their noses in other people's business. Some little girl who I believe is in grade ten or something, told a girl I work with that I'm a slut, and that she is best friends with Chris, Keith, etc. Which is hilarious, because her saying that only pissed off Josh and Chris, while Chris and Keith viehmently denied being friends with her. Satisfying. I hate bullshit like that. Anyways, my life sounds like such a soap, eh?

      So, run up to yesterday. Chris and I were going to paint my room, but stuff with the paint didn't work out, so it didn't happen. Hopefully soon, though. We're painting it a light green with some dark green accenting. Should be fun. Damn my gigantic room. Should be a pain in the ass. Anyways, in the evening, I went to Domino's and hung out with Sev and Monica. Good times were had by the people who accidently tipped Seve like ten bucks and then called the store freaking out. Ahhh, customers. They're so funny. I like to pretend they don't exist. But that was fun.

      Today, Chris and I went to Tranceformations and I talked to Dave about my tattoo that I'm getting on the 28th of this month. It's the paramedic/medicine symbol. Six pointed cross/star with a snake wrapped around a staff. Look it up, it's called the star of life. That's the general idea, but it's going to look realistic and the snake and staff are going to be bigger. Uh, yeah, it's pretty sweet. I'm getting it on my shoulder. Yay for tattoos. I love them, they are so addicting. Yeah, I got my shirt printed up with, "haven't you heard that i'm the new cancer?" It's sweet. I like making shirts myself, then either nobody else has it, or if they do, everyone will ridicule them for being unoriginal. Yeah, then Chris and I went looking for a Harewood dinner jacket for me, but I'm tiny and none of them fit. So, everyone, keep a look out for a tiny one.

      In closing, I talked to Phil today and I will probably see him tonight while I am at work. That should be good slash weird. Haven't seen him in quite a while. Like since at least maybe December or so. So, that's about all that I can remember. Perhaps I shall post later if something exciting comes to mind. Oh, if you want to see a good movie that is totally a mindfucker... see 'Stay.' It's wicked. I think I mentioned it when I saw it in theatres too. If you want to see a hilariously terrible movie, go rent, "A Sound of Thunder." I shall post science World pictures soon. I'll try to make Chris post the one of him with a beaver. It's gooood.
music. i never told you what i do for a living - my chemical romance