Ah, the age old question. Who am I, and what do I want. These are two questions I was asking myself today. Currently I NEED nothing, and I'm content with basically everything. But then again, content was never enough for me. In other words, I'm getting bored.

      So, who am I? I'm Tasha, I'm nineteen years old. I work at a kickass job that, while it isn't stimulating, fucking rocks. I work just about every day. I come home. I talk to Brody, Phil, Laine, whoever. I hang out with Phil or Laine. Phil and I sit around and talk and never get anything solved. Laine and I watch movies or go clubbin. I know what I want to do career wise, and I'm working on it. But this? It doesn't make me unhappy. But it sure as hell isn't enough.

      What do I want then? I want to be swept off my feet, head over heels in love with someone who is head over heels for me. It happened once and it didn't last, and nothing has even come close to it yet. I'm sick of boring relationships that don't mean shit. I want it to be fucking exciting. I want it to be crazy, and I want it sooner rather than later. If not that, I want exciting friends who don't sit on their asses all day. I do not want guys forcing themselves on me unless they know I'm interested in whatever. Take a fucking hint.

      I want to live life to a fuckin rocking soundtrack. I want to live fast, I want everything to be fast, whirlwind, crazy. I want to slow down when I FEEL like slowing down. I seriously just want to rock everything. I want to fuckin' party with tonnes of people who aren't fucking miserable all the fucking time. I want to make a fuckin difference. And I want to do in style, while rockin' out. I want my own style.

      I also don't want to say I want a bunch of things, and not take any action, so here's my plans. Maybe they're early new years resolutions. So, here's what I'm gonna do. Access relationships. Decide if I think they have a future. Are they boring already? Not a good sign. Meet someone who isn't boring. Who has the same interests as me. Who likes to have a good time. If they don't fit that, make it clear we're stayin' JUST friends. And then party with them, and meet more people. Don't sit on my ass. Ever. Get out and do shit. With other people who are interested in having a fucking awesome time. Alyssa, I can't fucking wait till you turn nineteen.

      Listen to upbeat music. If music influences you so much, stop listening to the sad stuff. Listen to something that makes you wanna fuckin move. MAKE CANDACE GO OUT WITH ME ONE NIGHT. Holy crap Candace, no more excuses. I AM gonna make a difference. Not in the big picture (although you never know eh?) but I'm gonna be a paramedic and sometimes I'm gonna be the defining thing between if someone lives or dies. Freaky eh? That's exactly what I need. And you know what? I'm gonna do it to a fucking soundtrack, and then I'm gonna go out and dance and party and have a good fucking time, and come home and work, and meet the fucking most awesome guy who fucking sweeps me off my feet, then we're gonna party some more. Get the picture?

      I swear to God, someone is going to be reading this and shaking their head. Whatever. I'm nineteen. This is what I'm supposed to want, so go fuck yourself. Laine and I are totally goin clubbin' tonight. Yessss! Hopefully not at the Jungle, cause that was fuckin' gay last time. Everyone go listen to this song.
music. romantic rights (remix) - death from above 1979