So last night was our Family Guy telethon. As soon as I got off work, I picked up Chris and Mark and we went to Laine's house. Unfortunately I let Chris drive and after a trip though Bowen Park... I was not feeling very well. But... the night had only just begun. So at Laine's, we watched like at least six episodes of season four, which came out yesterday. Chris, Laine, and Mark were either drunk or quickly on their way there. I seriously think I have developed some sort of adversion to alcohol, because it made me sick while drinking one. I totalled one and a half, and I was not a happy camper.

      So now, they're drunk and I'm tired, so we decided to go to the Foundry a short distance away. We walked there and the guys drank lots more. I dunno about the rest of them, but Chris was definately gone. Hehehe. So, we met these girls, some of whom knew Chris from school, and some of their friends. One of them was really cool. I don't remember her name but we talked about boarding and I tried to get the guys to do kareoke to Spice Girls' Two Become One. I failed and was sad about that. Also, there was Lola. She is awesome. She pole dances really well. But we'll get to that in a minute.

      Riiight, the the Foundry was closing so we went to 70 Below (the gay bar) and danced. That's when I learned that Lola is an awesome pole dancer. She rocks! Yeah, so it was just us straight kids, and a couple gay guys I think. Chris seemed to think it was a good idea to bet the guys five bucks that he could get this really flamboyantly gay guy's phone number. So he set to work, talking to this guy and getting him to sit with us. Yeah, then they start dancing and it was a mix of laughter and horror for me. Wow. I was pretty much disturbed and hid in the bathroom for a while. Like frickin' dirty dancing with this guys... Chris I hope you remember this all cleary, and the guys got his face in Chris' crotch. It was horrible. I hope it was horrible for Chris too.

      But yeah, that continued for the rest of the night, with at one point, Mark and Chris, and the gay guy having this orgy on the dancefloor. It was terrible and I pretended not to know them. But I danced lots and had a blast with my new friends. I got Lola's number and she says that they're out almost every night. So hopefully we'll run into them again sometime. Umm, oh yes, then there was the massive make-out fest of EVERYONE on the dancefloor. The guys minus Laine, and the girls minus me and Steph. So yeah, highlights were: Gay guy sucking on Mark's neck. He's got a nice hickey now. And Chris sucking on some girl's neck. End of story... Ummm yep.

      So, now Chris is freaking out about his HOMOSEXUAL TENDENCIES. Aaaaahhahahaha. Wow, so many other things happened, but I don't know if I want to get into that just now. Laine brough that Stephanie girl home. I shall find out how that went hahaha. I drove Mark and Chris home.... stuff stuff stuff. La dee da. I spoke with Phil tonight. Yup. Told him that was it and it was good. Ahhh, crazy crazy night. My neck hurts A LOT.





      Ok, so, what's been happening. Well, Friday night I went to see Chris' band, Magog's Deception play at Pleasant Valley Hall. They played last and were awesome. I also really liked Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, which Heebs' boyfriend plays in. They were awesome also. Anyways, so yeah, I met Erika (from work) and her boyfriend there, and we hung out til the show started... smoked a joint? For CURIOSITYS sake. Didn't really do anything. Not exactly what I expected. Anyways, sat around with Chris and KEITH who was visiting from Victoria. Sounds like his course is going really well, despite his lack of studying. Saw Lisa Morgan, and she was pretty cool. We chatted, and then I drove Carlye and her friend home, and went to Jordon's "party," which was really lame.

      It was Jordon, his cousins, and some of his sister's friends. Derek was there and he's a hottie, but he left soon after I arrived and I was sad. Um yeah, attempted to drink beer. It was sick as usual, so we went for a drive and got my Bailey's and by the time we got back I didn't really feel like drinking anymore cause nobody else was, so I just ate cheese cubes instead and they were yummy. Um, then Jordon wanted to watch softcore porn and it was hilarious, then we watched Batman Begins and this like fifteen or sixteen year old kept trying to cuddle with me and it made me nervous! I fell asleep halfway through the movie and shared the couch for the night with "Joel," who is said teenager.

      Woke up the next morning around eleven and stayed for a bit and chilled, then left, bought some poptarts, came home, argued with Phil on the phone, went to bed until eight thirty pm, annd then went out with Frazer until four in the morning. We drove to Qualicum and decided to keep going and we ended up sorta lost in Bowser. Then we almost ran out of gas on the parkway because the Camry is a guzzler! Back to Nanaimo, back to bed, slept until one. Went to a staff meeting, and found some paintings for my Dad for Christmas that I think he'll really like. Discussed Christmas with Kayley, then went to Candace's for awhile. Watched War of the Worlds with Ryan, Mike, Candace, and Scheryl, and Candace fixed my dreads so they're frickin' fatties now. They rock.

      Oh right and on Thursday night I hung out with Jordon and his cousing and MARK! And we went to Westwood and set a chair on fire and sent it "floating off into the night." It was awesome and very pretty... and toxic. It smelled sick. Oh and I bought the Britney Spears Remix CD. It's awesome. It's all dance tracks and it makes me want to go clubbing. I listen to it all the time in my car and it makes me hyper. Oh and in other news, BEN HARK got his PA done and then took it out and I am disappointed. Now I want to get my VCH done and yes. Not much will deter me from it. Probably in the New Year, so I've got a while. Still no car. Kinda freaking me out. Yeah, I'm really tired and am going to bed soon. Late.

PS) Someone gets back from Africa today.
music. touch of my hand (remix) - britney spears.





      I almost considered apologizing because I thought I'd basically just bashed everyone. Until I got a lovely e-mail telling me that I only get piercings to mask my "damage and pain." What the fuck? I got my labret pierced way before any of this shit happened. I got my nose pierced because I got it cheap, and I got my eyebrow pierced cause I always wanted to. I'm not gonna put my life on hold and stop getting things I want because... whatever you think the reason is.

      As for letting "that person" back into my life who only causes me grief? I haven't seen him in at least a month, probably more, and I've only spoken to him on the phone maybe once a week or so. Why? Because I gave him all his shit back, and now I want my stuff back. Which he is now choosing to lie about. I just want my damn stuff back. Like seriously. Anyways, no more comments cause I said I didn't want people commenting on shit they don't know about and apparently nobody read that part.

      Janelle, sorry about your surgery that sucks. Hope you get better before your party, and I hope that goes well for you. This IS the end of things for me at least, so go out and have a good one. Peace.





      Ah. I will never understand why people who don't know me anymore seem to think they can have a running commentary on my life. Here is a link to JANELLE VANDENBOER's journal. She changed the address and doesn't have her name on it because too many people were bashing her on her old one. Wonder why? http://welcometothisworld.blogspot.com.

      So in response, apparently I AM an asshole because I'm no longer friends with: one person who doesn't want to see me anymore because I don't want to date him, one because he had a temper problem and became violent when he thought I wasn't paying enough attention to him, and another who says that in the end, our friendship or whatever comes down to looks, and my tattoos and piercings are ugly, and not what he is looking for. Still another who was my first love, and I feel things are still unresolved, and yet another who I couldn't trust as a friend because she could not keep her mouth shut about my personal thoughts that I chose to share with her. Apparently THESE things make ME an asshole. Friends that I am sad that I no longer see? Tristan is in Ontario, Peter and Brody are in Vancouver, Ben is in Cranbrook, and certain special people are also far away.

      When I said certain people were assholes. I meant maybe one or two. I see Chelsea and Alex frequently at the mall and we always stop to talk, and I really enjoy it. We never hung out besides when we were both at Janelle's house, so seeing them at the mall is what I'm used to, and I enjoy the chance to catch up with them when I can. Really, only one person became an asshole, and I no longer see the 'aquaintences' that I saw when I spent time with that person. Apparently this is 'self pity month' here in the blogger community. However, should you decide to read back through Janelle's archives, you will notice how often she bitches about ie: certain people who only come to visit her sister instead of her now. Those would be Chelsea and Alex. The reason? It's because people are damn sick of her whining and how she retreats to her room when she doesn't get her way. Is everyone five years old? No, it's just you.

      I wrote an apology, left it up here, and why not? Everyone could see it and would know that I was sorry, I know Janelle frequently reads my journal, so I knew she would see it. I also thought that public apologies showed a degree of humility, and I certainly felt humbled when I wrote it. I didn't expext things to be instantly patched up, but I thought I would get a decent response. Instead I got bashed for it. Not all my friends have a 'stick up their ass.' It's pretty much just you. Unfortunately with Janelle, most of my friends were connected to her, so that's how I saw them. However, it seems we've gone completely seperate ways and she no longer sees those people anyways. The highschool group had disbanded and moved on and I can no longer refer to them as a singular... entity.

      Most of my anger besides to these kind of remarks about my life which are completely... untrue, are about Phil who can't decide if he wants to be my friend or not and usually ends up yelling at me over the phone (like tonight) because he is mad that I want to ask Alex about Celica's instead of just not buying the car I want because he tells me to. I didn't raise my voice at all during the conversation and repeatedly said I was only trying to get the best information for such a large purchase. I was then laughed at and told I was an idiot for getting myself into debt (for something I pretty much need) and then hung up on. It makes me mad, but the more it happens, the more I see that it is a completely unhealthy relationship or friendship to persue. For me as well as him.

      One last thing I'm wondering about that fucking entry. How can you be too injured to go to work and sit at a desk, but be well enough to "go out and party it up?" Did anyone else notice that? Anyways, I spent yesterday evening with Frazer watching, 'Office Space,' and eating pizza. This morning I got approved for a $6000 loan and looked more in depth at certain cars, called around, still interested in the '94 Celica at Bowen Motors. Tomorrow I don't work until four, so I shall hopefully go on a test drive of my beloved car. So to be clear, my life isn't terrible. Let me quote this awesome passage in a book I'm reading. "Adolescence. When nothing seems to have been lost, and yet one is filled with grief. When one has no idea that one is in mourning for childhood itself." Outburts? I've realized it's me coming to terms with the fact that I'm leaving a huge part of my life behind me. But it'll work out. Every teen goes through it.

      Anyways sorry to lower myself to the bashing level, but I was pretty pissed when I read that entry. Hopefully we can all just go our seperate ways now that everyone's feelings are clear. If you don't know me or haven't talked to me about what I feel are rough spots in my life, don't try to comment on them. You end up looking like a fool.





      Today is lame, my week has been lame, and will probably continue to be that way at this rate. I hung out with Peter and Stephan, whom I haven't seen in years, on Thursday. We drove around, got my eyebrow pierced, and Stephen tried to get me to buy weed off of him. Hung out at thier house until midnight watching TV.

      Friday I worked ten to five, caught the seven o'clock ferry, met Peter and his friend Amanda on the ferry and we hung out and I thought I lost my wallet. And it turned out that Amanda was going to see Avenged Sevenfold with Keith, Chris, and Laine, so I was jealous. Peter and his friend took me to UBC, so I didn't have to bus, where I tried calling Brody for half an hour while he didn't pick up his phone, even though I said I would be calling at that time. I finally got a hold of him and he was completely wasted. I finally convinced him to come get me, so he shows up screaming, "where the fuck are you?" holding a bottle of God only knows what, which he proceeded to throw on the ground.

      We were walking to wherever the Talent Show was that Brody's friends were at. Brody kept dragging my snowboarding and I was getting fucking pissed off. Anyways, so at one point I turn around and he's totally gone, and he had been there like a minute ago. So I head where he says he came from, and he's not there. And I look around for another twenty minutes and I can't find him and his cell phone is dead, so I just go back to the bus station where I called from the first time. Finally he calls me on someone else's phone and AN HOUR LATER, comes back to the bus station with this girl he wants named Megan, who decided to shout when she was within ten feet of me, "THIS IS YOUR EX-GIRLFRIEND, RIGHT? THIS IS GONNA BE AWKWARD." Why would this be awkward for her? I don't know, and nobody's given me a half decent answer yet. It'll be awkward for her anytime after this cause now I think she's a fucking whore slash bitch.

      So she leaves and Brody is like yelling at me or apologizing or both, and going on about how it's my fault, and then it isn't and he's sorry and I'm so fucking pissed off, but I have nowhere to go, and there's no more ferrys to catch or believe me, I would have. Anyways, so Brody calls a cab, we're waiting and he eventually says that the cab might be coming, he doesn't know. I'm like what the fuck and start to walk away, but there's another cab there so we take that. I made Brody sit in the front and he got pissed, but it was just as well cause he puked out the window while we were driving. Finally the guy stopped and Brody continues puking and rolling around in it. It was sick and hilarious if I hadn't been so mad.

      Then he starts telling the driver how his life is so fucked up and how he bets the driver's life isn't as fucked up as his etc. He then tells him the story of his life which went something like this: I left my long term girlfriend for "someone else" (that's me) and I want to date this other girl but she's way to cool for me and would never date me. (Megan) And he wonders why I don't like her or want him to see her. Um, you just told me you liked her. Is that not a good enough reason? You WANT to be with her but she's dating someone else. How does that not make any fucking sense? So we get home, crash, I decide I'm leaving in the morning and not going boarding. However, when Brody is so fucking hungover that he wants to ditch Laurence, I decide that I can't, so I go boarding anyways. It was a nice day and I was civil. And then I ditched everyone and went boarding by myself and listened to music. It was fun.

      Caught the late ferry back to Nanaimo, convinced Brody to come with me. Drove him to the ferry Sunday morning, went to work... had a decent day. Came home, Phil get's mad about my eyebrow piercing and goes on about how in the end, it comes down to looks, and he doesn't like the way I'm going in the looks department. How fucking FUCKED UP IS THAT. Crap, how shallow can you fucking be. SERIOUSLY. I FUCKING HATE PEOPLE, GUYS ESPECIALLY. Nobody wants to fucking do anything. The last time I fucking had plans, I got in a fucking car accident on the way there. Am I supposed to be fucking lonely all the damn time. Like, holy shit. Fuck shit bitch fucking ass. Now I'm pissed off. I'm apparently getting more ugly everytime I decide to do something, I have to fucking buy a new car, be further in debt, I get accused of shit, my ex-boyfriend is like fucking with me or something. Or just doesn't get it.

      I want to be away from all this fucking shit. Like what happened to the good old days? Oh yeah. He broke up with me. Friends turned into assholes. I met certain people who make me completely blank out the past two years from my memory. Right. I forgot that things had only gotten worse. I wish I worked everyday, all day. Then I'd be making money for being bored and doing nothing so I could spend it on all the nothing that I do. Wanna know what I've always wanted? To be in a really bad car accident where I have to go the hospital, and am on the verge of death, so I can see who would visit, or just so someone WOULD visit and I would get some attention. Dammit, seriously, next time, I'll try to hit someone harder. Or purposely run into something. Jesus, my life has come to this. To all the fucking assholes that used me and weren't happy when they didn't get what the wanted from me, FUCK YOU ALL.





      So, I guess I need to write about this so I can stop telling every single person what happened, cause the story gets shorter and shorter everytime cause I hate typing long things. Anyways, yesterday I wanted to go get my eyebrow pierced after work. Two things happened. First of all, when I was eating lunch, pizza and chocolate milk, my eye suddenly swelled up and like swelled shut in like two minutes flat, but other than that I was fine. Talked to a pharmacist who looked creeped out by the fact that the hunchback of notre dam was living in my eye. He said I must be allergic to pizza. Bull? But that was the eye I was gonna get pierced on. However, it had healed up by the time five rolled around. You know, the five o'clock with rush hour traffic? In tenth grade english this is known as foreshadowing.

      It's five, I'm driving up the parkway to pick up Chris to go to Black and Blue. I'm driving behind a truck, not tail gating at all, between the Mostar and Northfield exits, in the Southbound lane, when like all of the sudden, the truck in front of my whips into the right lane, before I know it there's a huge truck stopped dead in my lane. I can't get into the right lane cause there's cars everywhere. Slam on the breaks and rear-end the guy doing like probably around eighty. That fuckin' hurt. My car was totally powerless, couldn't drive off the road or anything, so I just had to sit there for a couple minutes, trying to figure out what the hell just happened. My car door shut so I had to crawl through the back. Finally got out, surveryed the scene. There were five cars. Two had hit a deer up the road, and I think the truck I had hit was going to put on his warning lights or something for them. I actually don't know what the hell he was doing. He was like a few hundred feet behind the other cars, just sitting in my lane. No warning lights or anything. Not that I would have been able to see them anyways, I was behind a BIG truck.

      So um, my car was totally by far the worst. The other guy just kinda drove into the ditch and then left right away. Nobody stopped to see if we were ok, some people just slowed down and gawked at us. Everyone was waiting together. A woman and a guy hit the deer, and there were three guys in the truck I hit. They were really nice and saw the truck in front of me swerve suddenly so I guess they knew there wasn't much I could've done. Um, anyways, so my entire front end was crumped and the hood was torn in two all the way up to the window. Glass and battery fluid everywhere. Not a pretty scene. Anyways, I called the cops and had them come down, and called my parents and they came down too. Everything was going fine and then I could barely hold my head up anymore and it hurt like a bitch and I wanted to throw up, so the cop called an ambulance and I had to to be put on a spineboard and whatnot, driven to the hospital in the ambulance. It was quite umcomfortable. But it rocked, cause the ambulance attendent and I talked about my school and his work.

      As it turns out, I will probably only be waiting about three years before I get into a major station (not seven, like Derek told us) and that I will be working full time hours by then as well. He told me not to volunteer with St. John Ambulance, and that I should just go on ride-a-longs once a week with them. It was very very cool. Oh, and I did a dumb thing. Does the '92 Tercel have a driver's side airbag? Cause I pried the front door open and was trying to get out some stuff, and I was thinking afterwards that you're not supposed to do that cause if the airbag goes off suddenly and you're in the wrong position, it can totally kill you etc.

      Right, so waited around at the hospital for about an hour. Doctor came in, told me I had pretty bad whiplash and I was probably gonna be feeling like shit for the next little while. Bruising from the seatbelts etc. My neck's a little sore and my mom doesn't want me to go boarding. I say it depends on how I feel on Friday if I go or not. Today I'm still sore, I would compare it to how you feel after your first day of boarding in a season... actually it's probably not that bad hahaha. I tend to hurt myself... anyways so I don't think God wanted me to get my eyebrow pierced cause... yeah that didn't happen. I kinda want to do it today but I'm afriad a frickin' airplane will land on me or something terrible.

      So, that was car accident number two this year. We have an appointment with ICBC on Tuesday, then I guess it's shopping for a car again. Anybody got any ideas? under $6000 is what I'm going for. Mid nineties... my parents are pushing for another Toyota. And hey, why not? I totalled both my tercels in five months, and walked away from both of them. Sick. I'll post pictures of the car later. It's pretty sick. Leave me a message saying you're glad I didn't die or something. Or an offer to be my chauffer.
music. let me go - three doors down





      Phil just called me and part of our short conversation included, "tattoo's aren't meant for women," and, "they (women) should just get back in the kitchen." Seriously, how fucking sexist can you be? Where the hell does he get this from. Like, who fed him that bullshit? I told him to go to Black and Blue while a woman is getting tattooed and say that to her face. And then have the shit beat out of him by her biker boyfriend. He said he "didn't want to go out of his way," but that he would say it to any woman he came accross. One of his ex's must have given him the impression that our sole desire in life is to cook and clean up after him. Seriously, how close minded can you be. That fucking pisses me off to no end.

      In other news. Saw Chelsea and Alex at the mall again today. I basically see them every day there. It's weird. Oh well, we had a chat aboug boarding/skiing among other things. Alex's new car... can't remember what else. Ah Chelsea and I reminicsed (sp??) about the grade seven ski trip. Good times. Uh yeah, so worked one to six thirty with Krystal and Heebs today. I made the most sales again yay! Also, went to Black and Blue this morning to get my eyebrow pierced, but they didn't have any needles, so Chris and I are going tomorrow evening after our respective school and work. I'll bring Keithy along if I can get ahold of him. Should be good times.

      And now for the best news of all. I'll probably be going to cypress on Saturday. Everyone cross your fingers for me! I find out tomorrow if I can get the day off if Sab will cover it for me. I'll go up Friday night with my board, crash in Van, and head up Saturday and probably come back the same day. Or whatever. Depends on what I'm working that Sunday. Also, I think I'm seeing Peter on Thursday. Should be awesome. Dunno what we'll do. I'm broke. Well.. I will be after I buy new boarding goggles. Damn ass mine being stolen last year... Oh well. Parents bought me a boarding jacket that actually fits! I'm so happy. It's green and white and full of happiness. My scalp is really itchy. I want to wash my dreads sooo badly. I should probably wait until they're waxed again. Ahhh, the itchiness.

PS) Today I stretched to an 8g!
music. send the pain below - chevelle





      I don't know why I'm updating. Nothing really interesting has happened. We had a staff meeting and everyone talked through the entire thing. We decided we were just gonna hang out and have a potluck at Jen and Krystal's for our staff party. We hired another new girl, Georgia. She's awesome. Nobody in the store, including me likes the other new girl. She's obnoxious and really annoying and invasive. End of story.

      Was talking to Phil on the phone yesterday. He claims he gave me my CD's back a week and a half ago. Phil, I haven't seen you in that long. The last time I saw you, we were in my car, and you definately didn't give me my CD's then. So, needless to say, I freaked out at him cause I am tired of all this fucking bullshit and the story constantly changing. Like seriously, how fucking hard is it to just fucking give someone their stuff back. my theories are either he lost them and is pretending he gave them back already, or he's holding onto them, so I don't stop talking to him. Either way he loses, cause I got so pissed off with all his bullshit, that I just went online and ordered them all off Amazon. Waste of money? I probably never would have gotten them back anyways.

      So last night was pretty boring. My parents are in Victoria visiting Kayley. I sat at home and was generally bored. I helped Keith with his pre-reads, Brody was being a bitch, and that's about it. Talked to Tristan which always makes me happy because he isn't a douche like everyone else I know. Anyone like the new picture? It reminds me of Tegan and Sara. Most likely for the reason that that's what I was listening to when I made it. Excellent. Snowboarding at Washington starts soon. I'll put up a permanent link to the snowcam and snow report when I am not lazy. Ew. My cat just barfed all over the chair next to me. Sexy.

      So work today was fun. It was actually pretty uneventful. There's a hottie working at the Music Maxx stand just outside our door. I think he's Sabrina's brother though. Not such a good idea? Oh well, getting involved with someone is probably the last thing I need right now. Stretched my ears again today to a ten gauge finally! I picked up some more stretches but I think I grabbed the sixes instead of the eight cause they hurt when I made the attempt. Oh well, maybe I should try leaving the ten's in for more than a couple hours hehe. Put some tightening gel in my dreads. They're dry and hard and... tight, thank god. Oh well, someday they shall be pretty. I think my parents are finally home. Late?





      Ok, so today I worked from one to five, and it was slack and I barely made any sales cause Sabrina stole one of my sixty dollar ones! Bitch! No, I'm just kidding, I love eveyone I work with. So, it was Me, Carly, Sab, Syd, and Heebs working today. And everyone but Heebs wanted a piercing, which is fine cause someone had to close the store anyways. So after work, the four of us went downtown to Black and Blue and got our respective piercings done FOR FREE (plus the cost of the jewellry) because they have an apprentice piercer. I got my nose, Carly got her belly-button, Sabrina got her septum, and Syd got a Madonna. Syd's was the first and the piercer pierced it in the wrong spot! So she had to do it again and then it was fine, and everyone's went fine after that. It was awesome. So I only paid like thirty bucks all in all cause I just got this cute little sparkly stud.

      Oh, and so I was talking to Micah (from B&B) and he used to have dreads and he said I don't really have to put so much wax in so often which is good to hear, cause my hair is so nasty right now. S'all sticky and shit and I hate sleeping on it! Tonight or tomorrow I can finally wash my hair for the first time! Ahhhh, the excitement! What else... ah yes, I went to visit my maja after B&B, and there was this lady at the counter and I asked her if she had been in Culture Craze that day, and indeed, she had, and so we thought that was funny that she was talking to my mum and all. Haha, yeah weiiiird. Mall closed early today cause it's Remembrance Day. I have a staff meeting tomorrow six to eight pm, but that's it. Right now, I really want Timmies, but so and so isn't home, and he was complaining about ME never being around. Whatever. We ever had plans. Anyways.

      Twenty-seven days until snowboarding. Ok and what's up with this. I come home to find my dad in my room watching my TV. I'm like... why don't you watch it on your OWN TV. And he said it's cause my room's more comfy... I was so not impressed. Gah, parents grrr sometimes just don't get it. Oh well, mom didn't make a big deal over the nose. I think the only rule is no more tattoos till I move out next year. Whee, work is awesome! Oh right, I suppose I should explain the lesbian music. We've been listening to the Tegan and Sara CD like every day at work, and I know most of the songs now, and I think I'm addicted and will probably buy the CD. Woohoo Timmies!
music. something by Tegan & Sara





      Ok. The dreads are finally done and are the waxiest things ever. It's worse than that time when I didn't wash my hair for a week after prom. Yesss, I rock! Um yeah, so we watched Matrix Revolutions and Candace tried to burn me with the hairdryer. My mother is less than impressed, and I have a lot of trouble getting shirts on and off. (Maybe that's a good thing?) Um yes. Here's a picture. Keep in mind they look like crap cause they're... BRAND NEW.



      If I look tired, it's because I am. Talked to Phil on the phone for a bit today. Talked to Tristan after mildly freaking out about something which wasn't what I thought it was. (Am I insane?) Am sort of half-assed talking to Brody. He seems to think I'm coming to see him. I don't know why he would think that after the scathing e-mail I sent him. Oh well. Boys will be immature boys who throw straws on the ground. Oh, and someone leaves for Africa tomorrow and I don't know when they're coming back. Or if it matters. We'll see.
music. tie her down - senses fail





      Soo today I was really tired cause Candace and I stayed up until like six in the morning working on my dreads. I think I got home by like seven thirty. Then I had to work at one, so I'm pretty dead. And my hair's not even done. Candace is a frickin' perfectionist, which is good, but holy damn. It's like three quarters done which is why I was wearing a hat all day. Here's some pictures from work to entertain you.





      I'm gonna get this really sweet red pilot hat for my dreadies when snowboarding season starts. Rock on! Woohoo! In other news, what's new? Brody is not the person I thought he was, and I'm only now starting to see that it's not... bleck. Anyways. Talked to Tristan all night before going to Candace's around nine. That was awesome per usual. Tristan's pretty much the coolest person ever. (Like you could know that... gosh!) Oh, right, so me and Candace watched so many movies. Twister, Volcano, National Security, and then lots of Saved by the Bell. My bum fell asleep during the second movie. It was a long night.

      What else. Oh yes, I got rather intoxicated on Friday night and... remembered why I told myself I wasn't drinking anymore. Generally I walked around with no pants on, kissed some people, threatened to flash others, um threw up some, insulted Laine a lot (sorry Laine!), won the swearing compition, and was just generally obnoxious. Oh right, can't forget throwing up all over the side of Keith's truck while he was driving me home. I was like still drunk the next morning and I kept running into things. Then once the hangover set in, it was like the worst one ever. And I was at work. And I puked in the garbage can. Sexy.

      Hmm, so should be finishing the hair tonight if I can get ahold of Candace, otherwise I have tomorrow off work, and I'm gonna go down to St. John Ambulance and see why the heck nobody's called me back yet. Umm, ears are at 12g today. I tried to fit the 10g ones in, but yeah it didn't work cause they're a weird ghey shape. I'll just try some smaller stretchers. Peace out homes.





      Also forget to mention... dreads will hopefully be the new edition to the Tasha this weekend. Give me some feedback on this kids. If you think it's gay. I value your opinion, but I'll probably tell you to go fuck yourself.

      Other possible editions, (but not for awhile) might be: ears stretched to like 0g maybe with some sweet star plugs. Right, well that one, I'm actually currently working on, but whatever. I'm only hanging around 14g right now, so I got a LONG ways to go. Another lip piercing on side. I can do it now cause I don't work at Tigh-Na-Mara. Feedback. Stud in the centre labret, ring in the side one. Yes, no? Lastly, a half sleeve, shoulder to elbow on my left arm... autumn themed. Feedback sure, that'd be cool. Designs? Sure, why not. So yeah, let me know. Just so none of ya'll freak out next time you see me. Cause people are already not recognizing me. It's frickin hilarious. Ah, Tristan is online, Yessss.





      Ah, the age old question. Who am I, and what do I want. These are two questions I was asking myself today. Currently I NEED nothing, and I'm content with basically everything. But then again, content was never enough for me. In other words, I'm getting bored.

      So, who am I? I'm Tasha, I'm nineteen years old. I work at a kickass job that, while it isn't stimulating, fucking rocks. I work just about every day. I come home. I talk to Brody, Phil, Laine, whoever. I hang out with Phil or Laine. Phil and I sit around and talk and never get anything solved. Laine and I watch movies or go clubbin. I know what I want to do career wise, and I'm working on it. But this? It doesn't make me unhappy. But it sure as hell isn't enough.

      What do I want then? I want to be swept off my feet, head over heels in love with someone who is head over heels for me. It happened once and it didn't last, and nothing has even come close to it yet. I'm sick of boring relationships that don't mean shit. I want it to be fucking exciting. I want it to be crazy, and I want it sooner rather than later. If not that, I want exciting friends who don't sit on their asses all day. I do not want guys forcing themselves on me unless they know I'm interested in whatever. Take a fucking hint.

      I want to live life to a fuckin rocking soundtrack. I want to live fast, I want everything to be fast, whirlwind, crazy. I want to slow down when I FEEL like slowing down. I seriously just want to rock everything. I want to fuckin' party with tonnes of people who aren't fucking miserable all the fucking time. I want to make a fuckin difference. And I want to do in style, while rockin' out. I want my own style.

      I also don't want to say I want a bunch of things, and not take any action, so here's my plans. Maybe they're early new years resolutions. So, here's what I'm gonna do. Access relationships. Decide if I think they have a future. Are they boring already? Not a good sign. Meet someone who isn't boring. Who has the same interests as me. Who likes to have a good time. If they don't fit that, make it clear we're stayin' JUST friends. And then party with them, and meet more people. Don't sit on my ass. Ever. Get out and do shit. With other people who are interested in having a fucking awesome time. Alyssa, I can't fucking wait till you turn nineteen.

      Listen to upbeat music. If music influences you so much, stop listening to the sad stuff. Listen to something that makes you wanna fuckin move. MAKE CANDACE GO OUT WITH ME ONE NIGHT. Holy crap Candace, no more excuses. I AM gonna make a difference. Not in the big picture (although you never know eh?) but I'm gonna be a paramedic and sometimes I'm gonna be the defining thing between if someone lives or dies. Freaky eh? That's exactly what I need. And you know what? I'm gonna do it to a fucking soundtrack, and then I'm gonna go out and dance and party and have a good fucking time, and come home and work, and meet the fucking most awesome guy who fucking sweeps me off my feet, then we're gonna party some more. Get the picture?

      I swear to God, someone is going to be reading this and shaking their head. Whatever. I'm nineteen. This is what I'm supposed to want, so go fuck yourself. Laine and I are totally goin clubbin' tonight. Yessss! Hopefully not at the Jungle, cause that was fuckin' gay last time. Everyone go listen to this song.
music. romantic rights (remix) - death from above 1979