Ok, so I was going through my grade twelve yearbook and I laughed a lot cause it's funny and people are at war on my pages. It rocks and I have to share it with everyone. I'll try to describe some of the stuff too, or maybe I'll get really h-core and post some pictures. The inside cover starts with Janelle.

      Tishi!! Hahaha I'm stealing the cover! Well, it's definately been an interesting few years, and it all began with harassing Mashall in Science 10. Him and his lawn gnomes, haha good times. Poor poor burnt out Marshall. Then, there was the times hanging out with the guys. I had to deal with them all by myself when you went to England! Remember when Mrs. Stewart told you to write a poem on that bridge...? I can't believe she actually thought you would. Man, she hated us that year! We've definately had some good times plotting evil (usually against unnamed skanks) You know who I mean ;) We've had our ups and downs, but we've made it through it. We will always have the art class memories of harassing Alex, relaxing and not doing anything. We've sure been mean to him over the years, but it's been worth it! How many times HAVE you bitten him now!? By the way, I'm totally telling Scottie that you think he's hot one of these days. You've been an awesome friend, and always been there for me when I've needed someone and I'll never forget ya! We have to go on that trip one day, I'll take pictures of llamas and you can see the Jesus statue! Maybe get over some sphobias. Haha that was a great project. You'll always be my MGW and Zena Warrior Princess! PE with Mr. Bryce was the best, archery will live on. I'll never be able to forget you doing Zena. Well, I'm beginning to run out of space and I believe I've officially beaten Alex! Sucker. Keep in touch or I'll beat you! (You know I will) Lots of luv, Nelle, JVan, Vanden-Whore, etc. (I rule! I beat Alex! He sucks!) (Shoving rulers in his arm pit! Nice. good good times Tishi! Call me! POOL PARTAY!)

      The next page is Alex, and it's encircled with, "KEEP OUT, TEH PAGE OF ALEX, KEEP OFF OR I'LL SHOOT YOU." To which Janelle has replied with a little note in the corner, "Alex has been owned! - Janelle", to which Alex has responded, "<-- She's gonna get shot." Onto Alex's bit.

      Tashee, we made it! I swear we just got to this place, but now it's all done... I prolly shoulda tried harded lol. Now comes the next step. WE MADE THE GRAD SURVEY! Yay us... ahh so many memories like art class and you stuffing rulers in my armpit, and good ol' social studies where we found out about bein B-DAY twins 0515 1:55... haha ur old. ADVICE FOR LIFE: Drink water, don't do anything I'd do. (STAY THE HELL OFF) It's on I gotta fill this page no matter how illegible it is, CONGRADULATIONS (sp?) on FINALLY getting roller blades, we have to go lots this Summer, I don't care how much you say you suck. We ARE going. You EAT CHEESE... And stop trying to claim my virginity lol hmm... now what... NO NIPPLE BITING... IT HURTS!! (not in the good way lol) YES I KNOW I'M A BAD dancer but it's not my fault I swear... man prom was on big slut... but then again that's pretty normal. ALTASH and TASHLEX join together to become the power of TEXAS?! What in da heehaw is dat good for? Know what, I have A CAR haha, well guess it's time to wish ya all the best in the future stuff ya do. DON'T FORGET MEE!! HAVE A GOOD SUMMER TASHERS (Rollerblading is good) (Space for sale, contact Alex)

      As you can see, Alex has no grammer. That was hard. Most of the endings of sentances were courtesy of me. Ah, I love Alex. ALEX I LOVE YOU. DO YOU HEAR ME. I miss everyone. I bet they're laughing while reading this. Ok, next entries. Aha, Erin Tait from work, who is Laine's ex-girlfriend. Small world eh? "Hey dude! We are the champions! Yeah well graduating is cool, but sad, and we get to work more! Wahoo! - Erin Tait" We're gonna skip Bailey's for now, because Bailey has known me since grade five, and it's embaressing. Here's Geoff's. "Yay! It's over! *Phew* Lots of good fun over the years, such as the cornfield maze? And much more besides. Well, I hope you have a good life, Tisha Du-Fey! Peace, Geoff."

      Ahh, Erin's entry. Excellent. "DUFF! Duffy, Duff, Duff, Duff-o-rama, the Duffster. Yeah, ok, dead horse being beaten. Before Erin! (at your request) (cute little picture of Erin with an arrow pointing to it saying "sexy beast") Fun times eh Tash? Yeah, driving you to your house, your crazy mother "____'s the devil's holiday!!" Hard to believe we're graddin; ah well, I will keep in touch fo' sho.' I almost never say that so feel good. WOO7, Erin."

      Ok, I have to put Bailey's entry on here, or she'll kill me. "Tasha Darlin! I decided to use this page because my nifty happy face slippers are on it lol. Omg, I can't believe it's over! Well, we've been together since grade five. We haven't always been the best of friends but we always seem to make the best out of everything eh? Haha, in the seven years we've been friends, we've done some interesting things, and played some interesting games... like the one with the killer vampire twins lol. omg! Member when we made that kickass sheet, towels, blankets fort?! Lol, omg that was great. Lol, hahaha member stealing Carl's blanket? Lol, omg that was traumatizing... hmm what else... oh! Matt, Jeremy n' their little lazer through the window lol, omg, they always seemed to know I was there eh? Lol, haha, listening to the BeeGees... stayin' alive n' doing the disco in your front window lol hahaha hmm, so what else did we do? Omg, there's so much, I don't even know... haha, almost gettin run over on our way to the craft fair lol. In the whole five years, we only had like four or five classes together lol, it's soo sad haha... oh member when we went to the VIEX n' we thought the ferris wheel would make us feel better... or something to that effect haha. Wow, my writing is somewhat legible haha, omg, member the first day we met, "do you want to sit together?" all quiet like lol awww you were so cute lol omg, I can't think of anything lol, how sad is that? Lol, oh! Animorphs!! Member the Animorphs cards you used to make for people!? Lol, it's all Mrs. Lillie's fault you're so weird :P Hahaha, hampsters in the freezer, red pancakes that look like raw meat, according to your mum. Oh no! I'm starting to slant, gotta fix it!! Lol, omg, the many sleepovers n' weird things we've done haha, member when we tried to make sausages n' they made us sick (lol) Lol, BSB forever!! N' the Spice Girls rock! Lol, omg, I'ma never gonna grow outta pop, lol, but I'ma almost outta room n' I don't wanna go onto the other page... Good times we've had and we're GOING TO HAVE MORE... Luv yaz n' if we don't keep in touch I will kill you :P Nono I would never haha, omg, I'ma miss ya... last time I swear... I**** 2** :P Luv always, Bai, Bailz, Bailums, Balooga, Bailiums, n' any others you can think of, Bailey xoxo. Oh! Don't forget the robot, Kirby dollars, omg I miss it.

      And there you have the important entries. The other ones just talk about how weird I am, etc. It seems to be a running theme. Anywyas, that was funny and now I have a headache and my halloween costume is going too well. I'll tell you about all that later. Ta.





      I'm not sure if that comment was positive or not. Needless to say, after sleeping, I feel better, mostly because I tend to forget how bad I felt in the first place. I love sleeping. It makes everything from the day before a little further away, a little harder to hear. That's probably not always a good thing, but somedays it is. So before I go into a response, I'm going to give the rest of my news.

      I went to Culture Craze two days ago and got a hoodie made with a skeleton chest print on it and it's wicked and I said I wished I could work there and they said bring in my resume, so I did that yesterday, had an interview, and the manager, (who's only like two years older than me) said that she'd probably be calling me back, and was I cool with taking on a management position etc, it was pretty awesome. It's the one place I've seen where you must have piercings and tattoos to work there. It was the weirdest interview ever, no rules. She asked me how old I was, and if I was religious and whatnot. It was funny.

      Also, I got an e-mail back from the JI, saying that I don't have to go through liscensing to be able to take the PCP course next year, which is really really good. I also found out that as it stands now, I have my OFA3 and my CPR level 3. That's awesome, so I'm set to start volunteering at St. John Ambulance which is down by the SPCA. I'm just waiting for the guy to call me back. That should be cool. They pay for like you to refresh your skills, so I'll be good going back to school next September. I have allergies so badly right now. I've been sneezing since I woke up like twenty minutes ago. I know, I got up early today eh? I went to bed at one, so I got my almost twelve hours. I dunno what I'm gonna do today. Probably go down to TNM, and see what I'm working next week.

      And now for my response. Which I don't really feel like doing, because I don't like writing detailed info on really personal stuff. But hey, first time for everything... actually probably not the first, but you get the point. I push people away is the subject. In the past couple years, I have thought that I should probably tell guys that I wanted to date that it really wasn't a good idea to date me. Warn them against me. I didn't because I didn't want to sabatoge things from the beginning. I cheated on everyone I ever dated, lied to them, kept secrets, wanted other people, sometimes persued it, sometimes just kept it in my head. I picked fights, I saw everything they did as being worse than everything I did. I dated a few nice guys, and in those cases, EVERYTHING WAS COMPLETELY MY FAULT. Now, I don't feel comfortable naming these guys, but I'm sure you can figure out who I'm not talking about.

      I also dated several not very nice guys. I would push their buttons and they would do the same to me. We were both so very much alike that (yeah, I noticed I'm only talking about two people now, we'll generalize into one relationship) we basically started to destroy each other. I was told things about him that (as far as I know still) weren't true, and he was told things the same. Things were either perfect or horribly wrong. We hated each other and loved each other a lot. And if anyone's wondering why the hell we kept getting back together? Someone who picks fights, just to cause conflict (both of us) is addicted to conflict. Is addicted to this other person who doesn't sit down and take it, they fight back. It's very addicting, and very very bad for you. Everything else is boring after that, because when you're arguing and angry, everything is so sensational.

      The final straw apparently in that one was an incident I wrote about a while back. Which was BOTH our faults. It wasn't just that one thing. I think by that point, we were fighting about everything, and I know for me at least, it was me being sick of all the bullshit, and for him, it was probably the same, which resulted in some final showdown, and it hasn't really changed. Despite my efforts (and I'm not saying those were good ideas) to get my things back, nothing's really been resolved, but it can't be because some stuff is still... needing to be just exchanged and we can move on. Anyways, so that's that. Nice guys? Stay away from me, it's bad for your health. Bad boys, stay away from me, we'll kill each other. I didn't think about my actions. Everything was what I wanted in the moment, without thinking about the consequences.

      Then... remember when I said I was taking a break off of guys? The one that lasted a month? Well, I messed up during that a couple times, broke my rules to myself (no dating, no messing around) and I didn't think it did me any good. But it really did. I met someone that normally I would have messed around with, but he's such a cool guy and I have respect for him and we talked about my problems and he's cool, and he still wants to hang out with me, even if I won't go out with him, and like, I haven't crossed any lines, overstepped my boundries. It's like one of the first times I had a chance with someone, thought about it, and said no, because that was the better answer. So in that sense, things are great.

      This is getting long. Oh well, I'm not done yet. Nowhere close. When I talk about the people I keep losing at the moment. It's guys. Two of them it seems. Two people who were there when I lost... everything else, which I will get to later, and who I thought were the greatest. They both wanted to hang out all the time, and I thought it was great. One of them wanted to date me, and asked me out a bunch of times, and I always said no, cause I was in my break from guys thing. He stopped talking to me one day, stopped calling out of the blue or wanting to do anything, so I started going by his work, bugging him to do something, and he wouldn't tell me what he was so busy with. I found out through Candace eventually that he had a girlfriend, and was trying to keep me from knowing. The one time we did hang out after that, he eventually told me that we basically couldn't be friends cause I was 'clinging' onto him. I'm not sure what he expected considering the last time we hung out, all his attention was on me, and for me, nothing had changed. He expected everything to be different without him having to say anything to me. Well, it's definately different now. We aren't speaking really.

      The other guy just wanted to fool around, but again, I didn't want to break my rules, and I'm not into fooling around with people in the first place. So after repeated attempts from the person, things just kinda cooled off, and we don't really talk anymore. So there's two cases of me not wanting to mess around or date people and them deciding that we weren't really friends in the first place. Sorry if this is starting to get incoherent. It's long. Um, so when I said everyone was leaving me, it was based on those two people, who had friends (quite a few) that I was also friends with, who subsequently, I didn't get to see anymore. Sure, I still have a number of friends. Unfortunately, most of them don't live around here and that makes it kind of hard to hang out.

      So to sum up this section of me 'pushing people away.' In the past, I ruined relationships and messed around and did stupid things with guys that resulted in yeah, me pushing a lot of great people away, and I'm sorry for that. Now, I'm not pushing people away, I'm finding that they don't really want my friendship at all. So because I cleaned up my act, I lost people that I cared about a lot. It's sad, but that's what's happened recently.

      Now, at this time perhaps you're wondering... what about Tasha's female friends. Yeah, I had those. Well more like I had one, and she had a bunch, and we all hung out together. One of those was Phil's ex-girlfriend. So you can see how that could cause some trouble already. I really like Phil's ex. (Still not gonna name names cause it's only fair) She's cool, but you know, there were times when I had to choose between the two, and I had to choose Phil, cause we were dating, and well, that's pretty obvious, I didn't know her well, didn't know what to believe, and yeah, so obviously there's going to be tension and trouble, especially when you find out they still love each other. That was difficult. I understand it was difficult for them as well, as well, I'm still confused since I don't know what happened there but I hope everyone is ok. So in that case, that's someone I didn't/still don't know well.

      There's the girlfriend of a guy I was best friends with in highschool. Unfortunately we drifted apart when he started dating. We're not really friends, we just are more like aquaintances I would say. So that just goes along with whatever happens with the one person I was really friends with. I wish I could have been good friends with all of them, but nobody was ever all friends at the same time! Such is the way of women I guess! (That's meant to be funny cause it's so true, and you know it!)

      Anyways, my best friend, was in a really hard place, and I think I only just realized that. I owe her an apology. I'm sorry Janelle. You knew Phil apart from me for a long time, and I never realized how much you must have hated taking sides. Especially when we got into EXPOLOSIVE arguments. I always thought that you were playing both sides and not being loyal to me, but really you were just trying to be loyal to both of us. And I understand that that meant telling us each the things that you weren't supposed to because that's what a best friend does right? You comforted me when I was upset over things that happened to Phil, especially cause those times you only heard my half of the story. And when Phil came to you at the end of it all, you sympathized with him, cause you only got his half of the story. So I'm really sorry for putting you in that position. I didn't understand or couldn't comprehend that you were friends with Phil, just like you were with me. I always assumed that we were better friends, that, well I think you get the point.

      Janelle was in just the same place I was in when Phil started accusing me of things near the end. He was saying that he'd been told all these horrible things about me that were either a) untrue to the best of my knowledge or memory, or b) things that he was NOT supposed to know, because they were things I said in confidence to people I trusted. So then, there I have my alligience to Phil on one hand, and my alligience to Janelle on the other. I sided with Phil, just like Janelle sided with me so many times before, and when it all fell apart, Janelle sided with Phil, and I think it's just all fucked up beyond belief, and Phil and I really can't be together ever because we are so fucked up. And I shouldn't be dating anybody because I am/was/still mostly am so fucked up.

      So to end this off with Tasha 'pushes people away,' the the female friend's catagory. I put someone in a bad position, and then I was in a bad position, and now everything is messed up. I made someone choose between two friends, which I never should have done, then the person I cared about made me choose between him and my best friend, and ultimately I made the wrong choice because I was addicted to the wrong thing. I lost all my 'friends,' when in reality I lost one excellent friend who was in a bad place, and all her friends, who were more like my aquaintances, except for a certain sister who I liked a lot, but was in basically the same place as I put Janelle. So to both of you, mostly to Janelle, I'm really really sorry. I honestly didn't realize quite what happened until I was writing this. At first I was gonna come on here and defend myself and blah blah blah, but the long and short of it is, we or I put you in a bad place, then he put me in a bad place, I made the wrong choice, because you NEVER EVER choose a guy you like over a friend. Learned that one the hard way. So I'm sorry, Janelle, I hope you can accept my apology. And to all my stunned readers, that has been my life since I got back from school like three months ago.
musis. fix you - coldplay





      Good old 'ender' lyrics. Haven't used those in a while. Found this nifty little thing on the net that shows you who's deleted you off MSN. Someone I kind of looked to for advice did and I don't really think the people that I thought would always be there for me... always will. Laine and I hung out last night until pretty late. We played some video games, went for a drive, and went to Timmy's, and had a really good talk. And I got to find out that Keith doesn't like me at all, even as a friend. Apparently he can't stand anything about me. Thanks. Another boost for Tasha's ego. I guess we're not going to school together anymore. Even my laugh is annoying. He completely ignores me now, couldn't care less about me, and it really really hurts.

      I went out with Jared tonight and we picked up Phil, but Phil didn't know I was there until we were on the road. He wouldn't speak to me, apparently had to keep Krista Noble from 'kicking my ass,' told me that the reason our relationship fell apart was all my fault, and told Jared to drive me home and then come back out and hang out with them. I feel like dying. Can we have a "yes, I give a shit about Tasha," comment section, so I know that someone will care if I fucking died. This seems to be a trend lately, let's blame Tasha for everything, let's hate Tasha for no reason and spead lies about her. I'm talking to Keith. I feel like shit. I feel like this is it. Someone save me, because I'm drowning. I really really need help. I'm not joking. Please.





      My head hurts. From a night of wild drinking? No, I'm not like that at all. ...It was tame drinking. Let's recap. Baileys plus chocolate milk is like drinking those hazelnut creamers from Macs straight for like an hour. There is such a thing as too much of that stuff. Rootbeer and vodka? Hahahaha, that was interesting. Barqs no longer has bite. And Growers apple-lime. Wow. I think the entire case is still sitting somewhere by my feet. Sick.

      Anyways, so this room is a huge mess right now. We were trying to play "Careers," which is a gay game and currently all over the floor. Then we played dice, and I lost because apparently I'm a terrible gambler. That's what is it when you just can't stop right? Terrible? That would be me. I remember in Kindergarten, we had this day where we went on the teddy bear picnic and we had to put a word in front of our names that started with the same letter. There was like "Beautiful Bailey," and "Awesome Ashley," and I was "Terrible Tasha." Yes. There was something terribly wrong with me that early. I think it started worrying my mom when at age five, my favourite part of the wax museum was the chamber of horrors. Anyways.

      Matt and Kayley's birthdays have passed. Matt is 20, Kayley is 17, so happy birthday to both of you! Yayyy! Hm, I watched the Amityville Horror with Laine the other night. It scared the crap out of us. Not literally, but like, it has some disturbing scenes. I really honestly hate it when they use little girls to freak me out. Little DEAD girls especially. Seriously effin' creepy. And Brody and I watched Bringing out the Dead, which is NOT a documentry, it's a drama, Keith and Laine. It was weird, didn't follow any rules of the trade, and generally didn't make a whole lot of sense. No points are awarded to Nicholas Cage at this time. Tristan, I do not understand how that would make you want to become a paramedic.

      In other news, isn't my blog lovely? I learned some new things and it even has a working media player now! At this time, you have your choice of Coheed and Cambria or Finch, but I shall be adding some more shortly. In other other news. As much as I love the people who occupy most of my time now, I miss some other friends. The ones that weren't out to get in my pants? You didn't see that hahaha ahhh. I miss just hanging out at the mall, things guys don't really want to do. Unless it's Keith and the mall has an HMV. I dunno, everything feels like this huge change. New job, new friends, new career options, new everything. I barely have anything left over from before. Kayley's gone, my parents want to move, Dad's into his S.A.D's thing again and well, that's always interesting. Anyways, I wanna come home today.

      On a last note. I hate it when people who have nothing to do with something, get into other people's business, make it their own, and then hate you for it, or whatever the outcome may be. Get your own life, get your own wars, stop living off the drama of others. That was probably not directed at who you're thinking it was, but I don't feel like naming names.
music. once upon your dead body - coheed and cambria





      Well this is the last day of me being really bored all day hopefully. I work tomorrow finally from 10-6:30. Unless they send me home early again. Last night I was at Laine's house until like five in the morning. We watched really bad tv shows and were generally lazy. Today I got up at three and decided to investigate the internet's resources on hynotism. And yes, I want to do it. So I read about how to do it and it was quite detailed, so now I just need someone to practice on. I would get Candace, but she's away for the weekend unfortunately. I somehow don't think my mother would be up for it. You can sort of hypnotize yourself, so maybe I'll try that.

      Everyone is away at a quizmeet this weekend. Hopefully I'll have shifts next week. Brody and I got into an 'argument' which I don't feel like going on about. But it ended rather badly, but at least we're still talking. That kid is insane and crazy and funny, and smart and I could go on and on. Yeah, you get the point. Halloween soon. I want to be Padme from Star Wars, which means I have to come up with a costume sometime. Which could be difficult. http://www.padawansguide.com/white.shtml eeeehhehe! Maybe with some convincing I'll get my mother to do it for me. On the other hand... hahaha yes, I'm pretty bored today. I might go to the mall and do a bit of the old shop-shop.
music. welcome home - coheed and cambria





      The above are lyrics from 'Welcome Home,' by Coheed and Cambria. That song rocks. According to iTunes, I've listened to it 67 times. Download it. Seriously. It's like their most rockin' song ever. Um, what's new. Well, lots. Today I washed all the crap out of my hair and combed it straight and it looks weird cause it's so short. And shit. I just blew one of my computer speakers. Maybe me parents won't know it was me? Hahaha... yeah right. Right now Brody and I are having a conversation about how annoying it is when people start doing the same thing you are, school/profession wise. Like how I get pissed off that people I know are suddenly interested in paramedicine or are going to my school. It's like, holy crap, I'm actually good at something, can you not make me feel like shit, and let me have just one thing? Yeah. You don't get it. (Directed at one person in particular) Whatever. I'll find something. Fuck. That seriously makes me so angry. It makes me feel like all my hard work has suddenly been cheapened because now I'm going to have some dumb shit telling me how to do stuff.

      In other news. Ok, let's do a ratio of male vs. female friends that I regularly hang out with. It's like ten to one. Seriously, one female friend: Candace. And the guys are dropping like flies? Why? Oh, because when they find out that I won't date them for whatever reason, they don't want to hang out. I'm sorry that I don't want to fuck you. Could you be anymore shallow? Fuck. So in (completely different news?) I haven't seen Laine in a while. Cough cough. I'm pretty pissed off about that. What are the chances that I'm gonna be seeing Chris or Keith anymore? Not likely since I basically have to beg Keith to ever hang out with me. So unless one of them randomly wants to be dating me, I'm down an entire group of friends. Fun. Am I pissed off? Yes. Yes I am. Wouldn't you be? I'm not important because I won't have sex with you? Basically.

      It's raining today and I have nothing to do. Maybe I'll get my hair cut or something. Woo.. exciting stuff, I know. I wonder what Laine's up to. Probably at work. Probably won't be hearing from him anytime soon. Lame. Dropped off some stuff with Phil yesterday. He basically made fun of me the entire time. That felt really good. He hasn't even located my stuff yet. What the fuck. I'm so tired of everything. Jaded? Yes. Pissed off? Yes. Did I e-mail someone today? Yes. Yes I did. And I don't care, because I will probably continue to do it. Question of the day, Christian's feel free to respond. Well, non-Christians too, but I don't think you'll get it. Not that anyone ever comments because no one wants me to know that they read this. So anyways, here's the question: If you were doing really well with God for a while, and he made part of his plan for you crystal clear to you, and then you kinda weren't so close anymore, but you still know that he wants this certain thing for you... can you have it? Can you have the thing he wants for you, or will you most likely not have it until you're good with God again? This is a rather important question, so feedback is wanted.

      Started reading the 'Word on the Street' again. It's the Bible paraphrased so it's way easier to read. I'm already into second Kings, and I've never read past Deuteronamy before. And yes, I'm aware I spelled that wrong. Anyways, here's a passage I like that I had forgotten about.

1Kings 19:11-13 (NIRV)
     11 The Lord said, "Go out. Stand on the mountain in front of me. I am going to pass by." As the Lord approached, a very powerful wind tore the mountains apart. It broke up the rocks. But the Lord wasn't in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake. But the Lord wasn't in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake a fire came. But the Lord wasn't in the fire. And after the fire there was only a gentle whisper. 13 When Elijah heard it, he pulled his coat over his face. He went out and stood at the entrance to the cave. Then a voice said to him, "Elijah, what are you doing here?"

      Hmm, I really like that one because it reminds me to listen, because God is talking to me. He could get my attention with something big, but instead he is teaching me to listen to him. I miss talking to God and all the amazing things he does. Like when I pray for peace, I am suddenly calm, no matter how bad the situation is. When I pray for a passion about him, he answers me, or shows me why I'm not capable at the time. He gives me amazing pictures for people and shows me things others don't see. Spiritual gifts are amazing. And wow, yeah this all just kinda came outta left field didn't it? I just picked up my Bible yesterday and started reading. It was odd. He shows me all the right things and I know that nothing is an accident. He calms my soul.

      Mmm, well I feel really good right now. That's a change. I was planning on ending this post with "I've lost faith in humanity," and I guess I sort of have, but I have not forgotten faith in God, and that will save us all. Anyways, hmm, haircut tonight I think. Then maybe I'll try to get ahold of someone. I think Mark is in town tonight so maybe him and Jordon are doing something dangerous. I should look into that. Whoa. Realization. I was mad because things I work hard at then other people do, makes me feel like my hard work is useless. But when people think about God because of maybe something I said or wrote about, I don't feel cheated at all. Hmmm, funny how that came up.
music. welcome home - coheed and cambria





      So this might be one of the more interesting posts. I'm warning you, you may laugh and think what the hell at some point. And I can't believe she did that. That kind of thing. So we'll start off with NOT that stuff. Last night I hung out with... Candace, Chris, Keith, Laine, Mark, and some other people whose names I can't remember. We hung around Dominoes and then went to Swylana where I climbed a tree and ripped a hole in the butt of my favourite pants and was mighty pissed off. Anyways it was raining, so Laine and Candace went home, and the rest of us went to Tim Horton's and stayed there until three thirty in the morning. It was... normalish. I ate lots of doughnuts.

      Ok... so today. Ahaha nervous laughter. Today I went to Laine's and we finished watching the Family Guy movie. It was awesome. And we made pizza and I ate a whole half of it, I must have been hungry. Then we watched some hockey and Keith came over. We went to Dominoes to see Chris and then we went to the Globe, Keith went home, and Chris, Laine, and I decided to go out and dance or something. We went to the Press Room which was dead so we left, the Malibu was dead, and the Griz wasn't even open. So we went to wet teeshirt night at the Jungle. Yeah. Ok, so wet teeshirt night is when like ten girls wear little white tanktops, stand in a pool, get water poured on them and like some of them rip off their shirts and some of them get completely naked. For some reason I cannot understand, I decided to participate in this contest. Yes. I, Tasha Duffy, participated in a wet teeshirt contest while completely sober.

      Well... Laine and Chris were telling me to do it, and I didn't totally know about how completely naked these people were gonna get so I thought it would be fun. So at the last call, I go up, they give me a shirt and I fill out this paper with my name, age, and what's the craziest thing I've ever done. (Hint: it had something to do with a public park and cops) So I go into this bathroom with like six other girls who are either high or drunk or whatever and put on this little tanktop. These girls were gross man. Seriously. I was creeped out. So uh yeah, my turn came up and as I was going to the stage, this girl reached over and ripped the front of my shirt apart. Yeah. So now my boobs are pretty much showing. There are guys from my highschool there and I am thanking God that EVERYONE but me is drunk and hopefully won't really remember my name tomorrow.

      Anyways, I didn't win, probably because I 1) didn't make out with another girl, 2) didn't get naked and 3) didn't attempt to pole dance. If you wanna win, you gotta do those things it seems. Anyways, afterwards, this huge drunk guy comes up to me and I'm soaking and he's like, I love your hair, and your eyes are so beautiful. He keeps touching my face and I'm like.... ahhh, so Laine sees this and starts calling my name and the guy's like, "is that your man?" I'm like YES!! Hahaha, then he brushed my boob and he's like oh well, I'm happy now cause I touched your boob. Is there anything I can do for you? So I told him he could vote for me to win. Yeah, so dancing was good and Chris is funny, and he told me that I had nice boobs. So thanks Chris, for the compliment. Oh also sorry Jordon and Mark for not hanging out, but I'm sure you'll get a kick out of this story. And yes, if anyone's wondering, I am MORTIFIED by what happened, but find it funny at the same time. I'll pretend I wasn't totally sober. But I love Laine and Chris. They rock. Keith'll be sorry he didn't come. Wow.

      Oh yeah, one last thing. While I was in the bathroom putting my "shirt" on, this girl is like I have to pee, so she does... right in front of me. I was mortified once again. Drunk people scare me.
music. hollaback girl - gwen stefani





      On my last post, I forgot to say that I also went to see the Corpse Bride with Jordon and some of his friends, it wasn't great and I wouldn't really reccomend wasting money on it. But afterwards, Jordon and his two friends, and I went to Swylana playground and played grounders for about three hours until three in the morning. I have multiple bruises to attest to this. Also, there was a backpacker/bum sleeping in a hammock under the playground and I accidently threw rocks at him. But yeah it was wicked and Jordon is disturbingly good at it. I think I was molested a few times.

      In other news, what have I been up to? Alright, while still in Richmond, Brody and I went to Commercial street to look for a Fight Club shirt, but we couldn't find one. I did however, find a calandar with poems like, "A is for Alice who swallowed some tacks, B is for Boris, done in by an axe," and that sort of thing which ink pictures to go with it. It's awesome. Then we went to Metrotown and found out that we can make a Fight Club shirt at Bang-On, so we decided to do that. Then we looked for some cool dog tags but we couldn't find any. I did however, go to Sears and buy some new sunglasses, the exact same pair that Phil threw out my window, so I was pleased. Anyways, home, and the next day to Staples to get our Fight Club stuff printed out. They said it wouldn't be done until tomorrow, so we left and went to this place that specializes in that, and it cost us like nine bucks which we would later find out was a waste.

      So we get to Bang-On and she says it's gonna be like a week. But then I tell her I don't live here so she gives us the transfer paper and sends us to Staples to do it ourselves. Staples does it in like half an hour, we go back to Bang-On, and the shirts are made. Frickin' awesome. They have the soap on the front, and "in tyler we trust," on the back. I love mine to death. Then I bought a sweet pair of camo pants and a Burton toque from West 49. Hellllo snowboarding season. That was it for the day basically. I came back yesterday and hung out with Laine when he got off work. We went to the Jungle and laughed at the raunchy stripper. Oh god. Then we went back to his house to watch The new Family Guy movie, but it was like 2am, so his mom got pissed and kicked me out. And yeah, that's about it. Candace, I really want to go out tonight, so... be not busy.

      Oh yeah, and I called Phil and we chatted for a while, and some things and some other things... and hopefully we can get it sorted out or whatever, and I can return his things and get my things back. Other than that, who knows.
music. what you waiting for - gwen stefani