Wednesday, August 31, 2005
and that's it for august
Talked to Phillip last night. Sorted things out, got through the bullshit that is forever surrounding us. I have come to the conclusion that our "friends" can not stand us being friends anymore than us dating. So... they basically try to sabotage that whenever possible. I've also learned that you can't really trust girls who have a crush on your ex. They will throw themselves at him and really disregard whatever there was left of a friendship. All in all, I'm more than ready to move on from those relationships because it's nothing short of aggrevating. I have other friends who hopefully will not turn on me when it serves them best.
In other news. Bought some excellent underwear that says "B" on it hahaha. They're quite awesome. I think I'm coming down with something. One side of my throat is horribly swollen and painful. It hurts to swallow and breathing is only really happening through the unswollen half. So eating is a no-no. Swollen as in there's this huge hard lump on one side of my throat. I think I shall call in sick for tomorrow and go to the doctor. Also, after work, this random dude (from work) asked me for a ride home. He was weird and exaggerated EVERYTHING. But he was funny and didn't try to kill me, so he makes the grade. Everyone be proud of me, I'm doing the speed limit like fifty percent of the time now!
music. wake me up when september ends - greenday
tashalaughs AT 11:19 p.m.
The last few days have been so-so. Brody left for Mexico on Saturday morning. Janelle and I went tattoo appointment making on Friday I think, and I got mine for Saturday at two. So it's all done. There's a pic on myspace. Apparently I promised Janelle I wouldn't get it done upper-back? Well, no offense, but I don't remember that. I told him I wanted it lower back but he said he couldn't do it cause of the way a ladies' back curves, and thats why they always do symetrical designs on lower backs. So I just opted for between my shoulder blades instead. So... if someone's mad about that, I didn't have much of a choice.
I didn't really like the guy who did it, Patty. He's apparently the owner, and I guess he really knows what he's doing, but he kept saying he had to hurry up so he could get outta there and stuff, so that kinda creeped me out. And he kept asking me what it meant and making fun of me, so I was kinda uncomfertable. Probably shoulda left at that point, but hey it turned out great and I really really like it a lot. Funny though, I was trying to see it in the mirror, but when I turned my head to look, my back arches and makes it look slanted, I was like horrified until I got home and saw that it was straight and wonderful.
Phil didn't like it, but he said his piece and let it go. Anyways um, so day before the tattoo, Janelle and I were at Phils, and Phil and I were roughhousing, and Janelle got pissed and left which sucked. But then yesterday, Phil decided that I have somehow lied to him, and is no longer speaking to me. So basically I have no friends and am about ready to die cause I'm pretty fucking miserable right now. So if you want the story read on. I was going off about a freeboard, and Kayley's like, well, I'm going to give you the money so you can get it for an early Christmas present. I was like wow, awesome, but then I couldn't do it cause I have so many bills to pay off that I would feel bad, and that just wouldn't make sense. So I told her I would get something cheaper and use the rest to pay off my phone bill. Hence getting the tattoo ($100) instead of the freeboard (probably about $300 with tax?). So I did that and paid off my phone bill. I asked Kayley to come with me to get my tattoo, but she had to go back to Victoria :(
Case in point; somewhere along the line, Phil thinks I have lied and therefore do not deserve something, as well as his friendship, claiming he has been "used" for the last time. Like, where do the wires get crossed here? He was at Janelle's house when the first outburst happened, and I havent seen Janelle since the day before my tattoo so they dont really know whats going on... so, I'm completely in the dark right now as to whats going on. And I have no friends, and basically my life sucks. Once again. I really don't fucking get where my friends get off calling me a liar. Man, I fucking chaffeur them around Nanaimo, lend a hand when needed, buy them things, love to do things for them, and try to be the best kind of friend I can. Yeah, sometimes I mess up, and apprently when I do, the friendship is over. So I dunno, maybe I need to re-evaluate who I call friends, because this really isn't cool.
music. winds of sorrow - grimus' shack ha
Hello friends and comrades. Today's post is brought you by the letter, "chocolate milk." Anyways... where did I leave off? Hmm well I came back on Sunday. Had that interview at Tigh-Na-Mara. Haven't done much the past few days. Hung out with Jordon. He works all day with children (shocking!) at Cyber City. Jesus, he's like friggin 6'8 now. We had pizza and ice cream and sat around, watched TV, then went for a walk at the waterfront. I've seen Phil a few times. What else... saw Keith last night. We watched some hilarious old school TV until like three in the morning.
Oh right. Anyways, I was having a lame time late last night before I went to Keiths, and I was driving really fast cause I was angry, and I GOT A SPEEDING TICKET! And the cop was such a jerk! He's like... "I'm gonna let you off this time... I'm only gonna give you a $138 ticket." Jackass. There fucking wasn't even anyone on the road. Jerk. Ass. Bitch. Damn. Oh what else have I done? I hung out with Jordon, MARK BEISEL, Derek, and Jason...? Holy crap they were all totally pissed and I was driving them around, and Mark like would not stay in the fricking car. He was so frickin hilarious. Omg, we had to go hunting for him in the church parking lots and he was in a garbage can... then he ran accross the highway and possibly molested a cat. Overall, a good time was had, and I hope we shall do it again. Except next time I won't be sick so I can be merry.
Brody leaves for Mexico tomorrow morning for a week! Brody, babe, I'm gonna miss you so much. I shall post my suprise on here tomorrow cause it's cool. But I have to suprise him first tonight. I hope he likes it. I really think things are gonna work out for us... cause I really like him. A lot. Hehehe, thinking about him makes me giddy.
In other news, I had my second interview at Tigh-Na-Mara today. It was awesome! We were done in like ten minutes and she said that it was one of the best interviews she'd ever done. She said she just had to check my references and then I should definately be expecting a call in the next few days! Full time banquet server... oh yeah! Yep yep, oh right I have my own catchphrase at Shoppers Drug Mart now. Someone was talking to Tim about leaving and he's like, "you're not gonna pull a Tasha, are you?" HAHAHA, Oh man, I have left my legacy behind. Apparently now everyone calls it "pulling a Tasha," when someone leaves. Nice.
Brody, I know we'll work out.
music. since you been gone - kelly clarkson haha
Hmm. Today I had an interview at Tigh-Na-Mara Resort in Parksville. They called at like nine this morning, so I called in sick to work. Um, had the interview around one, and I ended up making small chat to the guy for like fifteen minutes. It was excellent. I have a second interview on Friday. Full time position! Uh, the only lame thing is they don't allow facial peircings. I had my retainer in which is clear, so I don't even know how he saw it. Um, I don't really wanna take it out, so I'm just gonna file it down and hope no one notices.
I went into Shoppers today and apparently "everyone" is talking about how I quit. Which is quite hilarious. Ah, yes, I have left my legacy. But no, it was so lame cause I walked right by Tracey (one of the managers) and I said hi, and she just glared at me. Fuckin' adults can be so immature. Oh god no, I stopped working at your store. Let's be a complete bitch. You tried to fire me like three times anyways. Anyhow, so that was funny, yet totally lame.
And for my last point. It's scary when you think you like someone more than they like you. It makes me feel so weak and completely powerless. Like, it's frightening to think that maybe that person will leave you at any moment because they don't feel the way you do. It's just... ah. Something I don't like to think about very much. I'm going to go have a waggon wheel. And some chocolate milk.
Oh wow. Today has been awesome! I came down to Victoria to see Kayley and we went shopping and she treated me to a bunch of things. I got some new shirts, some jeans, a couple new studs for my labret, some hairdye (let's not even go there; it's no longer grey, it's silver...) annnd we went for dinner at Montana's, where the waiter was super-awesome so we tipped him big time cause we're highrollers hahaha :P
Um, then we came home and had the silver accident. Then we went to see, "The Skeleton Key," which was hilarious. Oh my gosh, totally suprise ending which actually made the movie worth seeing. But I have to spoil one line: "I do believe you've broken my legs!" Oh man. Kayley and I cracked up and then everyone started laughing too cause we were laughing so hard. Man, it was so funny though. Maybe you'd have to see it.
But yea, and for the biggest, and best news ever. I was texting Brody all day and he said he would have a suprise for me this weekend. And that it was silver... I had no idea what it could be until he sent me the pictures today! He totally defaced a sign to declare his undying 'like' for me hahaha, it was so awesome, and Kayley thought so too! So, Brody, thank you so much for the best present I've ever had!
Yeah, wow I really can't get over that! I've been telling everyone hahaha, so Brody, there you go, that's how proud I am. Anyhow, the pictures are chillin around on the net, I'm sure you can find em. Wow, BRODY THAT WAS SO AWESOME!! Ok, must calm down, but it makes me so giddy! Eeehhheehe, he leaves for Mexico next week... I'm going to miss talking to him... just like I am right now :( Brody.. just ahhh, you are crazy and I love it! I miss you so much!
music. that thing you do - the "o-needers"
Hey chums. I'm happy to say that things are looking up. Today is payday. I have the day off, and I'm driving down to Vic to see Kayley cause I haven't seen her in sooo long. Well Brody's wonderful. All I have to say about that is... September please come soon. My two rules to force me into having respect for a relationship again are:
1) Don't fool around with anyone I'm not dating.
2) Don't date anyone until I KNOW I can respect the relationship.
I'm feeling pretty good about those. Had a little lapse, but it was fixed and now he and I are moving on from that. Phil and I have worked things out, and I'm really enjoying his friendship. He's a great listener, and he is really blunt when he knows I need to hear something. Um, yeah, In other news, my hair which was supposed to be going ash blonde, actually just went ash, so now I have grey hair. Also, I got my labret stud changed, so now I have a ring. It's awesome. I finally bought my mom her birthday/mother's day/anniversary present. It's a gift certificate for some Sears portraits, cause we haven't gotten them done in years, and there's this horrible old picture of me hanging on the wall, from when I had like a mushroom cut and huge horrible glasses. It's so lame it makes me want to cry everytime I see it.
Um, I'm starting to get a little panicky about my course at the JI. I don't think I can pass the liscensing exam, but I have to do it soon, so I can get in my hours, and not lose my certificate. Crap man, I really need to get on that, but it's going to be so hard volunteering when I'm working two jobs. Brody leaves for Mexico in like two weeks! Well as long as he has a good time. Oh, a few tidbits from the past month: Brody took me to PLAYLAND!! Finally! It was so excellent. The roller coaster was so good, I got like this horrible pain all down my spine. I thought I was going to be paralyzed! It was THAT good! Also, Brody got me 3D movie maker, which is hard, but so worth it. Well, anyways, Brody and I did a lot of things, and he is so funny and charming, and is probably laughing while reading this about himself. And if he wasn't, then he is now cause I called him on it.
Oh, I bought the 2ge+her CD. It rocks my socks off. Um if anyone left anything in my car from our P-ville trip, I've got socks, towels, etc. I should go finish my laundry. Later my homies. Brody <3<3<3 :)
music. line and sinker - billy talent
Well. What can I say but that I deserved that one. I mess up, so he finds some other girl to fuck. Wow. Do I ever feel like shit. I swear, if this turns into another Nathan, I should just off myself now and spare myself another year of WANTING to off myself. Shit. I feel like fucking crap now. Seriously I mess up with the RIGHT guys, don't I. Then they prove just how much I can fuck myself over. But I can't complain. I brought it on myself and now I am more sorry than I ever was. Good job... you really got your point accross.
music. melt me - jake
I could tell you everything that's happened in the past three weeks or however long it's been. But I'll leave that for next time. Today, I feel like garbage. I was dating Brody... why can't I ever take anything seriously? I'd been dating Brody since he came to visit... two weeks ago. I didn't tell Phil. I didn't tell anyone. In fact, I told Phil that we weren't dating. Then I messed around with Phil after Brody left. I went to visit Brody last weekend, and messed around with Phil again when I got home. I dunno, I could have gotten away with not telling Brody. I don't know why I did. I just needed him to know. Maybe in some last ditch effort not to fuck someone up. I don't even know what I'm saying. Like... when I'm doing whatever, it doesn't even seem wrong to me. I don't know why. It's like it's perfectly acceptable to cheat on someone. I've cheated on everyone I've ever dated. There's something you didn't know. And I always get away with it. Brody... told me to call him when I grow up. I haven't grown up and I have... I have, but with the thought that cheating is ok. If you cheat on everyone you date until you're like thirty years old. You've grown up, but your morals are fucked up. I don't know what else to say about that. I'm not with Phil. Now I'm not with anyone. Now, I really screwed up.
music. best of you - foo fighters
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
add that to the damages.
The last few days have been so-so. Brody left for Mexico on Saturday morning. Janelle and I went tattoo appointment making on Friday I think, and I got mine for Saturday at two. So it's all done. There's a pic on myspace. Apparently I promised Janelle I wouldn't get it done upper-back? Well, no offense, but I don't remember that. I told him I wanted it lower back but he said he couldn't do it cause of the way a ladies' back curves, and thats why they always do symetrical designs on lower backs. So I just opted for between my shoulder blades instead. So... if someone's mad about that, I didn't have much of a choice.
I didn't really like the guy who did it, Patty. He's apparently the owner, and I guess he really knows what he's doing, but he kept saying he had to hurry up so he could get outta there and stuff, so that kinda creeped me out. And he kept asking me what it meant and making fun of me, so I was kinda uncomfertable. Probably shoulda left at that point, but hey it turned out great and I really really like it a lot. Funny though, I was trying to see it in the mirror, but when I turned my head to look, my back arches and makes it look slanted, I was like horrified until I got home and saw that it was straight and wonderful.
Phil didn't like it, but he said his piece and let it go. Anyways um, so day before the tattoo, Janelle and I were at Phils, and Phil and I were roughhousing, and Janelle got pissed and left which sucked. But then yesterday, Phil decided that I have somehow lied to him, and is no longer speaking to me. So basically I have no friends and am about ready to die cause I'm pretty fucking miserable right now. So if you want the story read on. I was going off about a freeboard, and Kayley's like, well, I'm going to give you the money so you can get it for an early Christmas present. I was like wow, awesome, but then I couldn't do it cause I have so many bills to pay off that I would feel bad, and that just wouldn't make sense. So I told her I would get something cheaper and use the rest to pay off my phone bill. Hence getting the tattoo ($100) instead of the freeboard (probably about $300 with tax?). So I did that and paid off my phone bill. I asked Kayley to come with me to get my tattoo, but she had to go back to Victoria :(
Case in point; somewhere along the line, Phil thinks I have lied and therefore do not deserve something, as well as his friendship, claiming he has been "used" for the last time. Like, where do the wires get crossed here? He was at Janelle's house when the first outburst happened, and I havent seen Janelle since the day before my tattoo so they dont really know whats going on... so, I'm completely in the dark right now as to whats going on. And I have no friends, and basically my life sucks. Once again. I really don't fucking get where my friends get off calling me a liar. Man, I fucking chaffeur them around Nanaimo, lend a hand when needed, buy them things, love to do things for them, and try to be the best kind of friend I can. Yeah, sometimes I mess up, and apprently when I do, the friendship is over. So I dunno, maybe I need to re-evaluate who I call friends, because this really isn't cool.
music. winds of sorrow - grimus' shack ha
Saturday, August 27, 2005
brody's girl.
Friday, August 26, 2005
chocolate milk etc.
Hello friends and comrades. Today's post is brought you by the letter, "chocolate milk." Anyways... where did I leave off? Hmm well I came back on Sunday. Had that interview at Tigh-Na-Mara. Haven't done much the past few days. Hung out with Jordon. He works all day with children (shocking!) at Cyber City. Jesus, he's like friggin 6'8 now. We had pizza and ice cream and sat around, watched TV, then went for a walk at the waterfront. I've seen Phil a few times. What else... saw Keith last night. We watched some hilarious old school TV until like three in the morning.
Oh right. Anyways, I was having a lame time late last night before I went to Keiths, and I was driving really fast cause I was angry, and I GOT A SPEEDING TICKET! And the cop was such a jerk! He's like... "I'm gonna let you off this time... I'm only gonna give you a $138 ticket." Jackass. There fucking wasn't even anyone on the road. Jerk. Ass. Bitch. Damn. Oh what else have I done? I hung out with Jordon, MARK BEISEL, Derek, and Jason...? Holy crap they were all totally pissed and I was driving them around, and Mark like would not stay in the fricking car. He was so frickin hilarious. Omg, we had to go hunting for him in the church parking lots and he was in a garbage can... then he ran accross the highway and possibly molested a cat. Overall, a good time was had, and I hope we shall do it again. Except next time I won't be sick so I can be merry.
Brody leaves for Mexico tomorrow morning for a week! Brody, babe, I'm gonna miss you so much. I shall post my suprise on here tomorrow cause it's cool. But I have to suprise him first tonight. I hope he likes it. I really think things are gonna work out for us... cause I really like him. A lot. Hehehe, thinking about him makes me giddy.
In other news, I had my second interview at Tigh-Na-Mara today. It was awesome! We were done in like ten minutes and she said that it was one of the best interviews she'd ever done. She said she just had to check my references and then I should definately be expecting a call in the next few days! Full time banquet server... oh yeah! Yep yep, oh right I have my own catchphrase at Shoppers Drug Mart now. Someone was talking to Tim about leaving and he's like, "you're not gonna pull a Tasha, are you?" HAHAHA, Oh man, I have left my legacy behind. Apparently now everyone calls it "pulling a Tasha," when someone leaves. Nice.
Brody, I know we'll work out.
music. since you been gone - kelly clarkson haha
Monday, August 22, 2005
waggonwheels and weaknesses
Hmm. Today I had an interview at Tigh-Na-Mara Resort in Parksville. They called at like nine this morning, so I called in sick to work. Um, had the interview around one, and I ended up making small chat to the guy for like fifteen minutes. It was excellent. I have a second interview on Friday. Full time position! Uh, the only lame thing is they don't allow facial peircings. I had my retainer in which is clear, so I don't even know how he saw it. Um, I don't really wanna take it out, so I'm just gonna file it down and hope no one notices.
I went into Shoppers today and apparently "everyone" is talking about how I quit. Which is quite hilarious. Ah, yes, I have left my legacy. But no, it was so lame cause I walked right by Tracey (one of the managers) and I said hi, and she just glared at me. Fuckin' adults can be so immature. Oh god no, I stopped working at your store. Let's be a complete bitch. You tried to fire me like three times anyways. Anyhow, so that was funny, yet totally lame.
And for my last point. It's scary when you think you like someone more than they like you. It makes me feel so weak and completely powerless. Like, it's frightening to think that maybe that person will leave you at any moment because they don't feel the way you do. It's just... ah. Something I don't like to think about very much. I'm going to go have a waggon wheel. And some chocolate milk.
Sunday, August 21, 2005
a great day!
Oh wow. Today has been awesome! I came down to Victoria to see Kayley and we went shopping and she treated me to a bunch of things. I got some new shirts, some jeans, a couple new studs for my labret, some hairdye (let's not even go there; it's no longer grey, it's silver...) annnd we went for dinner at Montana's, where the waiter was super-awesome so we tipped him big time cause we're highrollers hahaha :P
Um, then we came home and had the silver accident. Then we went to see, "The Skeleton Key," which was hilarious. Oh my gosh, totally suprise ending which actually made the movie worth seeing. But I have to spoil one line: "I do believe you've broken my legs!" Oh man. Kayley and I cracked up and then everyone started laughing too cause we were laughing so hard. Man, it was so funny though. Maybe you'd have to see it.
But yea, and for the biggest, and best news ever. I was texting Brody all day and he said he would have a suprise for me this weekend. And that it was silver... I had no idea what it could be until he sent me the pictures today! He totally defaced a sign to declare his undying 'like' for me hahaha, it was so awesome, and Kayley thought so too! So, Brody, thank you so much for the best present I've ever had!
Yeah, wow I really can't get over that! I've been telling everyone hahaha, so Brody, there you go, that's how proud I am. Anyhow, the pictures are chillin around on the net, I'm sure you can find em. Wow, BRODY THAT WAS SO AWESOME!! Ok, must calm down, but it makes me so giddy! Eeehhheehe, he leaves for Mexico next week... I'm going to miss talking to him... just like I am right now :( Brody.. just ahhh, you are crazy and I love it! I miss you so much!
music. that thing you do - the "o-needers"
Friday, August 19, 2005
things are lookin' up
Hey chums. I'm happy to say that things are looking up. Today is payday. I have the day off, and I'm driving down to Vic to see Kayley cause I haven't seen her in sooo long. Well Brody's wonderful. All I have to say about that is... September please come soon. My two rules to force me into having respect for a relationship again are:
1) Don't fool around with anyone I'm not dating.
2) Don't date anyone until I KNOW I can respect the relationship.
I'm feeling pretty good about those. Had a little lapse, but it was fixed and now he and I are moving on from that. Phil and I have worked things out, and I'm really enjoying his friendship. He's a great listener, and he is really blunt when he knows I need to hear something. Um, yeah, In other news, my hair which was supposed to be going ash blonde, actually just went ash, so now I have grey hair. Also, I got my labret stud changed, so now I have a ring. It's awesome. I finally bought my mom her birthday/mother's day/anniversary present. It's a gift certificate for some Sears portraits, cause we haven't gotten them done in years, and there's this horrible old picture of me hanging on the wall, from when I had like a mushroom cut and huge horrible glasses. It's so lame it makes me want to cry everytime I see it.
Um, I'm starting to get a little panicky about my course at the JI. I don't think I can pass the liscensing exam, but I have to do it soon, so I can get in my hours, and not lose my certificate. Crap man, I really need to get on that, but it's going to be so hard volunteering when I'm working two jobs. Brody leaves for Mexico in like two weeks! Well as long as he has a good time. Oh, a few tidbits from the past month: Brody took me to PLAYLAND!! Finally! It was so excellent. The roller coaster was so good, I got like this horrible pain all down my spine. I thought I was going to be paralyzed! It was THAT good! Also, Brody got me 3D movie maker, which is hard, but so worth it. Well, anyways, Brody and I did a lot of things, and he is so funny and charming, and is probably laughing while reading this about himself. And if he wasn't, then he is now cause I called him on it.
Oh, I bought the 2ge+her CD. It rocks my socks off. Um if anyone left anything in my car from our P-ville trip, I've got socks, towels, etc. I should go finish my laundry. Later my homies. Brody <3<3<3 :)
music. line and sinker - billy talent
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
ouch.
Well. What can I say but that I deserved that one. I mess up, so he finds some other girl to fuck. Wow. Do I ever feel like shit. I swear, if this turns into another Nathan, I should just off myself now and spare myself another year of WANTING to off myself. Shit. I feel like fucking crap now. Seriously I mess up with the RIGHT guys, don't I. Then they prove just how much I can fuck myself over. But I can't complain. I brought it on myself and now I am more sorry than I ever was. Good job... you really got your point accross.
music. melt me - jake
Thursday, August 11, 2005
the mo.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
you don't even want to be happy.
I could tell you everything that's happened in the past three weeks or however long it's been. But I'll leave that for next time. Today, I feel like garbage. I was dating Brody... why can't I ever take anything seriously? I'd been dating Brody since he came to visit... two weeks ago. I didn't tell Phil. I didn't tell anyone. In fact, I told Phil that we weren't dating. Then I messed around with Phil after Brody left. I went to visit Brody last weekend, and messed around with Phil again when I got home. I dunno, I could have gotten away with not telling Brody. I don't know why I did. I just needed him to know. Maybe in some last ditch effort not to fuck someone up. I don't even know what I'm saying. Like... when I'm doing whatever, it doesn't even seem wrong to me. I don't know why. It's like it's perfectly acceptable to cheat on someone. I've cheated on everyone I've ever dated. There's something you didn't know. And I always get away with it. Brody... told me to call him when I grow up. I haven't grown up and I have... I have, but with the thought that cheating is ok. If you cheat on everyone you date until you're like thirty years old. You've grown up, but your morals are fucked up. I don't know what else to say about that. I'm not with Phil. Now I'm not with anyone. Now, I really screwed up.
music. best of you - foo fighters
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