I've turned off all the comments on my journal because I'm sick and tired of being lectured. Seriously, I write in here because it's what I feel. You should all know that. I'm not here looking for pity or reassurance. I don't want to post something that I just want to say, and come back only to be lectured by my friends that, "it's not so bad." Look, I'm not saying it is that bad ok? What I am saying though is that you do NOT know me. You do not know anything about me. Do not act like you can tell me that my life is great, if I would only look at it differantly. Do not try to tell me that wonderful things are happening to me every day, but I don't notice. YOU ARE NOT ME. And I am so fucking sick of people telling me that I'm wrong about my OWN fucking life. I do not tell you that your life is great because I have no fucking clue! Your life could suck, and if it does, well that sucks. But I'm not you, I can't fix it, maybe no one can fix it. Maybe terrible things have happened to you that I don't know about. I don't have overwhelming sympathy for you, in fact I probably don't have much at all, because I don't know your situation. I'm not asking for sympathy and I'm not asking for answers. I'm not asking for anything at all. No one is forcing you to read about my life and what I feel. You're reading this because you're curious. If you're curious, you most likely don't know me all that well. So quit being a shitty friend and acting like you do. If you know me well, you'll know it because I will have told you. Just because you spend one day with me out of one hundred... doesn't mean you know a single thing. I will let you see the outside, but you have no fucking idea what's really going through my head. You probably don't want to either. If you have a problem with what I say or feel... don't read it. Make a decision not to read this because it doesn't benefit you in any way. This is a general fuck you to most of my not-so-close friends.

      This however, is a general fuck you to the people that don't know me at all. I found out some great news today, one of my close friends that I actually like and enjoy talking to because she doesn't talk down to me, is intersted in Christianity. That's great news to me. So to you, friend, don't take what I'm about to say out of context. If you don't get it, talk to me, cause I wouldn't want you to get the wrong idea. I hate church and I hate a shit-load of Christians. That's strange, you may think.. Tasha, aren't you a Christian. Well, yes I am if you mean that I beleive in Jesus, and I think he's awesome, and love him with my all of my being. I'm not Christian if you think it means I go to church and love religion. I hate organized religion. I hate church so much. Here's why. I stopped going to church, because people who didn't know me at all would see something, assume something, and then tell everyone about it. My mother, who I don't have a close relationship with, for this very reason, would see something, misinterpret it, and tell everyone in the entire church. Inlcuding my friends, their parents, and the pastors. So, suddenly, my entire church has this warped view of me. They look down on me and I hear them whispering and I hear the stories that are going around about me. So, I stopped going to church, because I found that the way people acted there completely disgusted me. People I trusted suddenly didn't trust me, they listened to things that other people said about me. No one trusted me because one person exaggerated something here or took something out of context there. This didn't just happen one time... it happened many times. In conclusion, I don't go to church anymore. I went to Victoria this weekend and went to a youthgroup to pick a friend up. Someone apparently observed something, I don't know what, and started telling everyone that something was up between me and this guy. No one will listen to me. Even my friends are listening to someone who doesn't even know me. This is why I hate religion. Because MOST of the people I know involved in it give into worldly shit more than your average person does. So this is a giant FUCK YOU to everyone. And don't try to lecture me on this one. I won't pick up the phone.
music. wth>you - linkin park