Nathan has a new girlfriend. I guess they've been together for a while, while it was still him and me. I feel really hurt and betrayed and I feel nothing... I feel angry and stupid for not seeing it and I feel like crying, but I feel numb, and I don't know what to feel. And I don't want any stupid comments telling me to feel better. I just want to write this. Not to tell you, to tell me, to tell Nathan that I love you, I hate you, you hurt me. You hurt me so bad. You can't have loved me, cause if you did, you wouldn't have hurt me and you wouldn't have lied to me. I just want to know why. I want to know why her and not me. I would have waited forever for you, and you said I could. Why did you say that? Why were you using me? I feel like I did something wrong. I feel like nobody could love me cause you can't. You never did. Why are you doing this to me? Don't you know how I feel. Don't you understand? I love you. I loved you more than anything. I mean that. More than anything. Why did you give me that necklace? Why did you kiss me? Why did you hold my hand? Why did you fall asleep next to me? Why did you use me? Please be reading this. I need you to read this. I need you to know. And I need you to tell me why. Please please please tell me I'm dreaming and none of this is real. Please make it stop hurting and tell me it's gonna be ok. It has to be ok. I just need you to tell me.